Thursday, September 18, 2008

I am a MCP. period.

The Male chauvinism syndrome is a very interesting case should one be willing to study it. Being one I will be shedding some light on the same as an expert.

MCP was an honorary title bestowed upon us by the feminists of 1960's and we have proudly being carrying it around, flaunting it even ever since. So who or what are we?

We are supposedly people (men ofcourse) who believe that men are superior to women. But would'nt that be Male chauvinists? Yeah, but since it has been established since a long time (by women) that all men are pigs (except some exceptions, who are either hot or cute or someone who are neither but someone they are in love with) , I think the term MCP holds. So what do we do? Well nothing actually, we boss aorund women (supposedly) demeaning womenfolk worldwide, reducing their self esteem (ego) to bits etc etc. 

Do we do the above? No I don't think so. We MCP's have our code, our honour and we do not believe in the demeaning of someone we have learnt to respect as our equals. Haven't we always referred to you as our better half? Haven't we accorded the status of the "fairer sex" to you. Haven't we bestowed our undivided attention and all our energies and passion into wooing the likes of you? And still you accuse us of demeaning you? A job is a job is a job. Whether one does it sitting in a cabin/office or does it at home is irrelevant. Whether one earns money or the appreciation of people around him/her is also irrelevant. Both have their places in the Maslows heirarchy of needs and mind you both fulfil them. If you are wondering about the inequality that one sees around us in terms of husbands housekeeping and working wives then lets ask you a question. How adaptable is the world to change? It took the blacks, more than two hundered years to send one of their own to run for the presidency of the United States of America. It took just 5 to replace pagers with mobile phones. Technology changes, people don't. Every change takes time to be accepted, to sink in basically. We as humans do not like change.  Not if it forces us to change our beliefs, our traditions.. Women across civilization for centuries have belonged in the houses. The field was for the men and the house for the women. Both were efficient in what they did. The sands of time did change the outlook of women and raised the flag of feminism but men took some time to change, we are humans afterall. The MCP's you labeled way back in 1960's have long died or are probably on their way there. Like all of you reading this, we are also gen next. We like all of you are quite different from the generations before us. We believe in the equality of men and women .. all of it. But hey how can you then justify reservations for women. If you are all as good as you say you are, fight us on equal grounds. Women before you have done it you know. The Indira Nooyi's of the world had the courage to come up fight equally and prove themselves and that is why we respect her. Can someone explain to us how reservations lead to women empowerment, when reservations itself is a medium of saying that the recipient  is "lesser".

I am a MCP. Period.  Albeit a Gen-Next one. I think the age of men has long been over but the age of women is yet to begin. This transitory phase that we are in is the age where the shuffling happens. " Glass ceilings" will be broken, misconceptions will be shattered and when the world is ready the throne shall be bequeathed to its rightful owners. But there is still time for that. There will be an age of women .. but it is not now. 

So all you FCO's or Feminist Cribbing Owls ... wait a little longer your time is on its way. 

Sunday, September 07, 2008

I have always believed that everyone can write because the only thing needed to write is the ability to bare your soul. Only if you feel something can you write about it. 


I have often prodded friends of mine to take the initiative and write something, and my hard work bore fruits when a friend of mine wrote something.. I found it so... I really don't have words to describe it .. But I felt it was my blog's priviledge to have the post on it.. 

Heres the first post of a budding writer..

7th September, 2008

I was alone travelling in the train. A million thoughts were running through my mind as usual. I was looking at people frowning, smiling, talking and sleeping. Headphones were on too. And suddenly I thought I should go home n write this or maybe I wished I had a pen n paper with me, I would start writing then n there. I’ve always felt I wanna write but somehow never did. I was too lazy or I dunno I cud always give a lotta reasons fer not doin something. But this today I just thought no m gonna do this. It’s not like I had anything special on my mind. But just.

Went to town, met my friends, and heard a lot of taunts. Don’t really know if they affected me. Everyone had so much happening in their life and I had no idea about it and I felt so lost n left out and I wonder who’s at fault or is it anyones fault at all. And suddenly this question “Where is my life heading? What do I really want?”

And I don’t really know if I have an answer to that. Well, if I see my life right now, it seems just perfect. I work, I study, I sleep in time, and I do my share of tp, party on weekends, movies. I am doing everything. But still this emptiness, still the urge to do something. And I want to know what that something is and I don’t know how. I have a plan ahead of me, how much I stick with it, only God knows. I feel sure I want to do this but again how, where, who is gonna guide me. I need someone to take me through it. But something inside of me tells me that no one can do this for me. No amount of pursuing and pushing is gonna help. Its only my efforts that’s gonna get me through in life. I need the stability, the security, I want to make it big in life and I know its not gonna come so easy but the realization is yet to set in and I’m waiting, desperately waiting.

And the need for a partner gets stronger n stronger with every passing day. I have a million people around me. So called friend’s, good friend’s and best friends. Just about everyone seems to have a place in my life irrespective of the consideration other people have of me. And I still feel alone, so so alone. And things go wrong everytime. I wait for the time when things will fall in place and I find the right guy but I don’t know how to manage till then. I have no clue how to get through this phase. But I’m not giving up hope. That’s one thing I’ve learnt in recent times. I’ve always been optimistic since really long but now m learning to not give up. I wanna hold on but the problem is I don’t have anything or anyone to hold on to. Maybe I’m trying to grab things and m left with nothing in hand. My aunt always tells me her life and mine is the same. I watch her n just smile n think to myself that no this is not gonna be my fate, m gonna carve out a way better life for myself and all u will do is watch me happy n smiling and not sulking the way you are. Somehow I feel I have the positivity in me but something’s amiss that’s holding me back in life and I just hope I find that missing factor in my life and m gonna be good to go from there and I will always keep smiling no matter what. J That reminds me, I was just looking through photos of the typhoon in Philippines and this woman; she was smiling for th photograph standing on a mattress in the middle of so much water n a completely broken house. Her entire effort, her home was gone, and yet she could smile through it. Its amazing how she’s still got her hopes and she ain’t giving up and I think it cant get any better. Keep your hopes, work hard and life is just so beautiful. It feels so good when you’ve worked hard for something and the sense of achievement and what follows is just so good. Hmm… and now I’m outta words. :P


Please don't be cringy when it comes to comments.. this post means a lot to the person concerned.. A push will go a long way ..  From my side, the post is as good as any of mine if not better, if only I could be so true, so open while writing... :standsupandclaps:

Friday, September 05, 2008

The C Phobia...

Disclaimer: This article is not meant for hard core commitment fanatics nor for the big brawned males who think it might be an insult to their masculinity or for that matter anyone who can cause me any kind of hurt should this not appeal to their (limited) mental capabilities.


I start this article by saying that whoever associated the term “commitment phobia” with guys ( I am assuming it was guy because in the good old days there were only a limited number of women studying beyond high school... and who did go beyond that to do their phd would refrain from writing such a statement to avoid getting their grants cut off by the male dominated grant boards) was the biggest loser. It has led to one of the biggest stereotyping exercise this world has ever known; the stereotyping of men with commitment phobia. If Men have this so called “phenomenon” of commitment phobia... then what do you call the women who perpetually change their minds about men at the last stage of the commitment.. saying “ ... but all men are jerks”. But I understand that this article is not meant to be a revelation about the girls having commitment problems too; they are blissfully enjoying their ignorance and it is only fair to let them.

Onto the problem affecting men in particular and mankind as a whole...A recent study has revealed that all men were not made that way.. That is, GOD didn’t intend to make men commitment phobic, it is an anomaly of the gene structure that leads to such a condition and as it is an anomaly... Not all people have the problem.. But we will delve into the “not all” problem later. The study by Karolinska Institute shows that a gene variant can lead to the above mentioned phenomenon. But then as with all conditions/phenomenon known to man, this too has various reasons associated with it. It is not just the gene variant that causes it (obviously, you wouldn’t be satisfied with such a simple answer would you.. everything has to have a complex solution or atleast a complicated reason behind it, doesn’t it ??)

In the article that follows I will be revealing what goes inside a guy’s brain, why he behaves like he does, why he is what he is...

Disclaimer: This study has “NOT” involved live subjects for experiment purposes so the various acts against cruelty towards animals cannot be applied here.
Caution: This article is supposed to represent all guys alive or dead in totality. Anyone in disagreement with the same should go and have their gender rechecked.

Why are we... What we are..?
It is an interesting question because it deals with what we could have become if we wern’t and what we should be in the event a change is possible. The possible reason of our being what we are is because the other half of the society being what it is; the other half of the society being the “fairer” sex. Why should they be called the fairer sex? Do we assume that every guy is atleast a shade darker than the least fair girl alive? Do we presume ourselves to be devoid or if not devoid have a depleted supply of the fairness genome?
BBC news says that women have more cells in the brain and are actually smarter considering the smaller size of brain that they have. So do we now leave all the “smart” work to the women and take on the daily chores?
Women, since time immemorial, have tried to create a mysterious aura around them. To make men feel helpless when it comes to deducing what their actions, subtle hints, or for that matter their sentences (or in some cases just words) mean! I mean, there must’ve been atleast a zillion articles written on how men find it utterly impossible to understand women. Women seem to revel in the fact that most men squirm in their seats trying to deduce what must be the thoughts going on in the women sitting next to him, should I go for the kiss or not, should I ask her out or not, should I agree with her when she says that the food was good or say her cooking is better etc.. Every subtle eyelash movement is crucial, every flitting glance, every nose twitch or cough. A moments attention loss can cost the poor guy atleast a month of despair.. not that he always succeeds even with the best detective skills. Might be one reason why Sherlock Holmes was always shown without a girl companion or even a love interest. Girls were one mystery that perhaps even he couldn’t solve.
What is common to all of the above examples? They are all examples of society trying to demean men; trying to create a sort of superiority complex for the females. Why should guys be forced to answer in front of a society which is continuously plotting against them, to a question that is set to question his personal beliefs? But I will answer it for the benefit of the few somebody’s who wish to sit and listen and perhaps even analyse what it is that is plaguing the world to cause it to have such a screwed up relationship lifetime. Why is it that the most committed of people end up running away as soon as their commitment gets a name?

Let us try to think of it from a male perspective, why does the average rahul get relationship jitters, when his girlfriend ask him to get married... or if it is too advanced; when his “close” friend wants to go to the next level.

There is a very simple answer to the above, freedom. Yes this one word is one of the prime reasons why men get the jelly legs. Just think of a world where guys are bound by imaginary chains, have blinders placed on the sides of their faces, have a radar on their head to warn of approaching females with an automatic lock down on brain activity for the time when the female is within the prescribed danger threshold radius, a self injective sedative capsule attached to his neck to administer as soon as the heartbeats grow stronger on smelling the pheromones given out by the opposite sex. Maybe even a password enabled lock down, you know where, to ensure that even if all the above force fields are violated, there would be a last line of defence to protect “their” males from provocative advances from the morally loose members of their sex. This is what the general perception of commitment is; c considering that the girl becomes overpossesive after the relationship gets a name, that every girl that the poor guy talks with, is a potential boyfriend snatcher. Every female acquaintance, more so the good looking ones become off limits even for friendly chats. The high level of insecurity which most girls bring to the table along with the commitment status becomes unnerving for the strongest of hearts. Add on it the pester power that girls in general seem to have. Pester power refers to the ability of a person to manipulate the other person in question by repeated pestering i.e. banter regarding a particular topic, which ultimately the other person has to give in to what can only be described as “peace of mind”. Previously the term was associated with children, off late with women (either married or girlfriends... in other words committed)

Lets jump to another prime reason, which will be explained soon. Think about a situation where you get school without the clause of giving exams to goto the next class. Does it beat the concept of schooling? You still goto the school to learn, you still “study” the same subjects. What changes is the formality of passing the exam. Does failing a subject in any way prove that the student is incapable of studying? It just shows that the student does not have the natural aptitude or the interest for the concerned subject and as we are not given the option of choosing our subjects, the compulsion of exams and the subsequent passing in them should not be necessary criteria of judgement. Relate this example to the concept of relationships. Is it not possible to have relationships without the tag of a commitment attached to it? Is it not possible to do away with formalities that will only end up in tying ourselves in unnecessary obligations? Does not being called a girlfriend in anyway reduce the quality of time spent with the concerned person? Does looking at other people of the opposite sex on the way home in anyway affect your affections for the committed someone waiting for you there? Does every person need to be subjected to the morally demeaning act of being flaunted as an art piece to whomsoever who has the time to listen as one’s committed other? I sure as hell wouldn’t. And for all the above reason we guys run away from the word commitment. You seek attention; we will give you all that we can. You ask for affection, we will unload our entire heart on a plate and gift it to you. You wish to be the only female we interact with... I say dream on... Cmon people, we are guys; we were made to be this way. We revel in voyeuristic pleasures. We like to gawk like wolves with our jaw hanging and tongue drooling at the sight of a gorgeous female (Its true.. don’t deny it ..) but then don’t you girls do the same? But if we point it out to you, we are being over possessive and unnecessarily jealous, while the females are just keeping us in check. Why are the rules so different and terminologies made to suit females? How is it a fair game in which we are supposed to follow each rule to the book? I say first make the rules fairer for both, then we will take a step forward.

Lastly we come to the most inconsequential but perhaps the most underrated reason on the male phobia for commitments. It is the fear of not living upto the hype. Women usually complain that men when trying to woo her were much more loving, much more enthusiastic etc than after being committed. It should be made clear here that for humans since the beginning, the chase has been more important than the kill. The chase sequence is always the most interesting part of a thriller. In a hunt, the chase part is always the most exciting part, the tiger/deer after it has been hunted down and clicked a photo with, is either left to rot, or taken home to serve as a wall adornment, subjected to a mere glance at the most at a later date. Similarly a female and now many males are sadly regarded as conquests. Making a girlfriend is more of a hunt session, complete with the chase sequence (wooing period) and when the poor creature is trapped, enmeshed in the unreal ropes of false hopes, the hunter goes for the kill and claims the prize as his own, after which the prize is left to its own, or just given formality glances and pleasing noises to keep it at bay. It is sad but true and both sexes are affected by it, so no one gender can be blamed for the phenomenon. Though it is practised by a very small number of the concerned gender it is noticed by a lot larger number. This leads to a lingering doubt at the back of one’s head which stops him/her from walking the last mile.

Life is not about commitments and relationships being given a name, it’s about actually living them. The realities are much different than we imagine and it is for that very reason that it’s best that a concept like live in relationships replace the quick divorce and multiple relationships era that our generation is known for. We can and we will overcome, but for it to happen the society as we know it today will have to undergo many fundamental changes. Major upheavals which may shake the foundation of many a concept that we are used to taking for granted. The world will yet see a time when one will have to open the pages of this blog from a cached version of this site on a google server to read about the concept of commitment phobia as it existed in 2008.It will take time and sacrifices but it will happen, it has to happen.

Monday, September 01, 2008

The person that I almost was..

Have you ever woken up wishing that you were someone else ..?? someone well... different..!! Have you ever felt bored of how life was dragging along .. how you were doing the same things that you didn't wanna do .. again ... and again ... How every breath you took, every move you made was one step away from the life you secretly wished for. You have everything .. and still nothing. Have you ever felt that way ..??

Have you ever felt that there was someone somewhere that understood you .. someone who wasn't your soulmate .. someone not destined to meet you .. but someone you would have to find.. you were alone in a crowd .. (cliche eh .. ) that your existence needed to be defined through that someone else you were seeking. That ....in the most unromantical way .. a part of you was still missing..

That life was beyond love .. beyond the vagaries each moment presented you with .. beyond all the decisions that were thrown at you .. beyond the choices that you stumbled across .. That darkness was at the end of the tunnel and the light way back.. and all you had was a torch with the battery running out.

I have felt some of the above ... and the rest Ive felt through the others Ive known .. but I know its there.. the feeling lurks in the shadows and f****s you when you least expect it .. brings you crashing down like a ton of bricks .. and you never know what hit you ... But its now how you fall .. gracefully or otherwise .. its how you get up to the stares of the unknown eyes.. whether its embarassment.. despair.. vengeance.. a smirk.. or plain mirth..

It is a random musing on my part .. but have you ever noticed that you have the same symptoms when you are in hate .. as when you are in love.. In hate..??? yeah the same hate you feel when you are really pissed off at someone and not the gf bf pissed off ... which everyone knows is plain bullshit !!!
you can't sleep at nights thinking what you would do to that person... you dnt feel hungry because the anger mechanism brings its share of indigestion.. and you can't stop thinking about that person ...!!!
Well so much for "lurrrve" symptoms ..!! seems the love gurus better scamper off back to their drawing boards and design a more fool proff mechanism to identify love..!!

For those who have read the batman comic series will realise how much of batman each person has in his/herself.. He is the only superhero without the superpowers... a man fallible.. a man victimized by the same age that plagues us all.. A hero .. a lover .. a human...
I stand in front of the mirror everyday and think how we live everyday to become the man everyone around us wants us to be.. the perfect father, the perfect son, the perfect brother, the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect enemy, the perfect lover, the perfect human and then they complain how we are losing our individuality.. what the f**k are we supposed to do ? Our life is one big self induced ,confused identity crisis .. and you know what we all are responsible for it.. atleast batman knew what he wanted to become and had the guts to tell everyone else to just f**k off.. He played every role to perfection while remaining true to his own identity.. and that's why he is batman .. and we are us .. we remain stuck in the rat race trying to outdo each other to the finish line not knowing that regardless the result we would be spending our entire lives running one race after the other on the same track until age catches up and we give up..

I wish to break these imaginary shackles that keep us bound to this never ending race track.. I wish to shout at the top of my voice when I want to .. I wish to be a jerk and love myself for it ... I wish to slip, fall and get up laughing .. I wish to stop caring about all those insignificant things which won't do me one bit good in the long run... I wish to wish for something worthwhile .. I wish to stop running .. I am tired.. I wish to stop and think .. think about where I am really heading .. about where I should be heading.. A directionless life is all I have .. though I might seem confident and full of gyaan .. I am helpless.. I have no inkling who I want to be, where I wanna go ... or for that matter who I am.. An engineer? a manager?? a great friend?? a pathetic lover?? an obedient child?? or a protective brother ..?? I feel definitions such as these are irrelevant for it needs the existence of these roles to be relevant and none of them represent me as I am..

From where I am standing .. I see the mirror showing me that I still have a long way to go .. still a long way to the person I almost am .. the person I almost was..!!

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