Time to activate this blog again :)

Ss shayar se shayari mat likhwa
log kehte hai ki jahan bhulwa dega
shayari ki nokhi hai yeh
bina phool ke khushboo aur
bina paani ke aansoon baha deta hai
gareebo ki madat toh har koi karta hai
yeh shayar ameero se katrata hai
darta hai shayad ki pyaar mohabbat ki baaton se
kabhi usse bhi koi mil jaaye toh
zindagi badal jaayegi, garrebi hat jaayegi
ameero ki duniya main
shayad shayari bhool jaayegi

The Last Thought

The night is dark,
The stars alight,
With the moonless smile,
A polar here,
Maybe a flying plane.
The child below,
With a gleeful smile,
An innocent stare,
One without a care.

A sudden noise,
A ruffling scare,
A look to the door,
The kitten's here.
A sigh, a smile,
Two hands one face,
A cradle shaped,
And chin propped up.

An attempt to count,
One hastily given up,
Once , no twice,
Ohh leave who cares.
The stories of warriors,
Of dead grandma's and aunts,
All in the stars.

I thought, I thought,
I saw, i stared,
Was it me,
Or the star did wink.
The god's are cheerful,
Or was it granny,
A wink, no, A sign,
Of things well done,

She was happy,
Someone was,
Granny or aunt,
Mine or yours,
Its all the same.

I wonder how,
A human being,
Does a star become?
With pointy cones,
And bright white eyes.

I rub my eyes,
It's winked again,
Ohh wait its moving,
Approaching fast.
Across the crowd,
Shoving and pushing.

The earth is round,
The star is not.
If it falls,
Will it hurt?
Granny can you hear me,
Is it you? If yes
Have a journey safe.

A falling star,
Does a wish merit .
I think i wish,
The wish can't share.
I lie down straight,
My head in stars.

So many of them,
At this lonely time,
I still don't feel alone.
The eyelids flicker,
Someone's helping them shut,
Mom is it you?
My last thought aloud,
Before the eyes wide shut.

Wanton Soup for the Sad Girl

The blue cup and saucers,
Lie waiting for the tea,
The green paint brush,
Is dripping wet.
The glass lies broken,
The kettle merrily boiling,
The stove is on ,
Or is it?
The lighter can’t be found,
The dolls are stacked together,
Almost like a family,
A happy family?
Who can tell?
There’s a book in front,
It says chicken soup for the soul,
In good shape, maybe unread.
The family is tight,
The table is set,
A family portrait half-finished,
The water is on,
The bathroom door locked,
The tub with a duck is filling fast,
The boat lays waiting by the sink.
A girl sits alone ,
Down by the corner,
Sniffing, weeping, sad.
The tears roll down,
They don’t taste sweet,
A swish of hand,
The moistened cheeks,
The doll on the ground,
The severed head.
The needle, the thread ,
Couldn’t put poor Barbie,
Back together again,
The mother knocks,
A jerk sight towards the door,
A shake of head,
“Not now, it’s ok”,
- “I’m sure it is,
Dinner’s ready, dad’s waiting”
A whispered sigh,
A shrug to share,
The doll left alone,
The child moves on.
The family waits,
And another too.
The mom, the dad,
The daughter sits.
A big bowl of hidden secrets,
The cover slowly removed
And a hint of smile.
A bowlful of joy,
Taken one spoon a time,
Cooled by the warm breath,
Of a sorrowed soul.
The favourite remedy,
Of smart mothers,
An oriental speciality,
One passed down ages.
One soup to rule them,
One soup to soothe them,
One soup to bring them all,
And in the happiness bind them.
Chicken soup it is not,
Though the little girl,
Inside every man’s soul,
Craves for it, day in day out,
It’s the wanton soup,
That works the best.
And that is why,
Every kid in the Middle Earth
Knows this saying by heart,
A Bowl of Wanton soup a day,
Keeps all the Sadness away..!!

Musings of an empty glass

A full existence I had,
Of whiskey and wine
A relishing experience
Of fresh juice with dine

I offered my whole
And the contents within
To creatures of all kinds
Humans and children, fat and thin

The clinks of ice,
Upon my body
The sensuality, the feeling,
Makes an orgasm look shoddy

The drop of condensed water,
Rolling down my spine
Ooh such an arousal
Never had I so fine

The woman's touch,
Around my base
And her lips on me,
I rest my case

The night was young
The revellers too
The mood was hot
The women too

A sip here,
A bite there,
A refill here,
Drunk without a care

One peg and two,
Maybe three maybe four
The night is young,
One more you pour.

I love my life,
And I boast to the pans,
"I too live amongst humans,
The base heating sans.
I am filled with elixir,
And taken for a dance.
I’m not thrown by housewives,
Heck, courted by all
If you want to move up in life,
Just give me a call."

The boast was tall,
Expectations were high,
But as says the kettle lore,
With high pressure comes a sigh.

As the night progressed,
And revellers grew faint
Lesser and lesser I was filled
Finger stains did me taint

The ranting went on,
I was left alone,
On some ravaged sofa cushion
And for company, a half eaten cone

The night wore on,
The bottles fell,
The people too,
As far as i could tell.
The silence was deathly,
The music too,
They called it metal rock,
I, 'stomping in the loo'

My bones were tired,
Aged, the strength they lacked
A little more pressure
And they would've cracked
Broken, crushed even,
A million pieces of pain
Humpty dumpty and the wall,
All over again

I can worry about the night,
Or look forward to the next
Of the maids gentle hands
Caressing me inside out
The soapy water, on my back,
The finger down my spine,
A gentle rub and a whiff of breath

Back to the platform,
With friends and foes
Stories shared, scratches bared,
Proudly recounting conquests and woes
A grinning dream upside down
Numbers exchanged, can just wait
The next pick up,
Shall we call it a date?

Last Rites

The colourful umbrellas,
and the dull raincoats.
The beeping of mobiles,
and the crowd whizzing past,
Of unending loud silences,
and continuing silent screams.

Of sleepless nights,
and countless mosquito bites,
The pitters and patters,
and the dreams that do shatter,
Of the rains that keep coming,
and the hopes that keep going.

Of the tall monroe posters,
and of the ferrari's too.
Of childhood romances,
and college one's too.
The whistling on the stairs,
the jeers, the taunts and more.

Of missed catches,
and games that make lore.
Of the luck of an ass,
and the work of a cat.
One a dilligent servant,
with fate as the master.

The kahani main twist,
and the countless lost moments.
Of siestas at 3 a.m.
and long busy afternoons.
Of the short walk home,
and the long walk back.
Of the kismet connections,
and missed calls from you.
The wish for backspaces in life
and for the elusive enter too.

For the hung decisions,
and the contemplating hours
Of the high volumed outbursts,
and low pitched moans.
Of the unholy groans,
and of the grinding bones.
Of the whole day shoppings,
and the unspent millions.

Of lust, greed and envy,
Evenings of no joy and all pain.
Of wet dreams,
and barbed wires.
Of invalid passwords,
and flattened tyres.
Of the semi colon;
after every sentence,
and the long pauses in-between.
Of the unsaid epics,
and unexchanged vows.

Of the hit before the K.O.,
and the slow rerun called life,
Of the countless emotions,
ones mixed with alcohol,
The first tears that showed,
and the last said goodbye ...

A Testimonial

A stranded soul, does solace seek,
A friend to hold, a friendly peek.
The curtains drawn, of shyness tight,
Of cautiousness, does impulse fight.
A friendly smiile, is all it takes,
To recognize, among the fakes.

Of swords drawn, of letters torn,
Of sparkling eyes, the girl forlorn.
Wandering alone, in the blinding night,
Of roxy's howl, and mosquitoes bite,
Of mails and chats, of phone calls at night.
Of misunderstandings, and petty name callings,
Of drunken tears, of solace of dears,
Don't worry no more, for the end is near.

Of two years spent, of memories bound,
Of friends and foes, acquaintances found.
Of treats and fights, and outsiders too.
Of proposals, of rejections and dejections too.
A parting thought, on thyself trust the don't,
the won't just say just do.
Here's a toast, to our friendship,
the yesterday, today and forever too

Dedicated to the two years of my life well spent ..!!

Hey,

I just came across this wonderful concept called IHL.. it is supposedly a spoof on IPL and they've done a pretty good job on it. 

Here are some virals I found on youbtube. For the latest one you would have to go to the website obviously. For now .. Enjoy..!

The Lazy Bum's Guide to Pfaffing

First of all... its pfaffing not faffing as the oxford dictionary and the likes of it like to refer it as. Those who do not practise it have no right to undermine the sentiments of those who do.  We as MICANS believe we have GOD's authority to dictate what goes and what doesn't in pfaffing. With that in order I think we can move ahead to the actual execution of above said. I have already written a post on pfaffing which I feel is quite an indepth take on the subject and definately adequate for all new"pfaffers", you can click here for it or here for someone else's take on it. Please note I have used only MICAN references for obvious reasons. 

If you are reading this, you are either done reading the above mentioned posts, or taken the smart choice of staying with this post. Moving ahead, this is a lazy bum's guide to pfaffing written by another lazy bum. It is safe to say at this point of time that the lazy bum writing this post is also very bored and has nothing better to do in life at this point of time (has plenty to do .. simply choses not to do it ... read between the lines .. (corollary 1) ).

There have been a lot of models on Pfaffing.. Actually the evolution of Pfaffing as a concept is perhaps as old as Marketing itself. The difference is basically in the alphabets used for denotation of the various models e.g. Marketing has the famous 4 c's and 7 p's while Pfaffing has the infamous B3 and the 3p's. 

The B3 of Pfaffing are as follows:

Bullshit Baffles Brains

As much as i would like to take credit for the same, it was proposed by an intellectual who goes by the name Mayz.

An analysis of the same reveals the following. 

Pfaff can be defined as any bullshit that baffles the brain (Now you know why it is a Lazy Bum's guide to Pfaffing. Theres no way a Lazy Bum would go through an indepth analysis (or write one for that matter which is my case) to find the valuable insights which he could use) . Or to make it even simpler, Pfaff is any crap you blurt out to create a situation where the person in front of you is so confused that he thinks you are genius to say what you did.

The 3 p's of Pfaff will be covered in relatively more detail. The 3 p's of Pfaff are as follows

1. Polysyllabic profundity 

2. Parapsychic hogwash par excellence

3. Particularly digressing and obnubilating

Before we go on to explaining the 3 p's we should understand the 3 rules of Pfaffing

1. The one in front of you is a total idiot and is fortunate enough to have you pfaff to him, think of it as an example of your open hearted generosity.

2. Use of long, difficult to pronunce words with an accent to match is a must to give an aura of learnedness

3. The core crux of Pfaffing is based on the concept of its being totally irrelevant to the topic in question. The more irrelevant it is (interspersed with the right jargons ofcourse), the more confused the listener and the better the Pfaff.

Now to the 3 P's

1. The more syllables a word has, the more difficult it is for an Indian to pronounce it. The more difficult it is to pronounce, the better the weightage given to it. So if suppose you use a word like rodomontade as a compliment to someone you don't like. Chances are that in 99.99% of the time, the concerned person would walk away feeling elated. More crucial is that it follows the Universal Law 2 of Pfaffing and thus is relevant even today. A thing to note here is that the MICA 10th batch school of thought says that Pfaff is possible even without the use of the 1st P and has been proved in various test situations. So this P though relevant is not universal

2. There is a limit to which a normal person can digest information, leave alone process it. Anything beyond that is termed in medical jargons as parapsychic. If the information in question is bullshit served on a silver platter, the capacity drops to alarmingly low levels. Thus almost all kinds of Pfaff's can be covered under this and this remains the most used P by the novices.

3. There is nothing as confusing as irrelevance. As all pfaffers know, the basic truth of life is confuse and conquer. A confused man in the bush is worth two dumb men in front of you. These words of wisdom have traversed generations of wise men, faced endless storms and still lived to show their beacon of relevance even today. If an irrelevant topic is planted strategically in the midst of an engrossing conversation it results in a state of disorientation for the listener. This eventually leads to a chemical reaction succeeded by blowing up of gas bubbles in the brain, blocking the busy intersection between the left and right lobes, creating a extremely common condition called confusion. In this state the listener or victim, as some of us like to refer to them as, is the most vulnerable. This vulnerability gives an opportunity for the pfaffer to unleash his latent potential and break into uncharted territories he never knew he could conquer. This P comes with a rating of APG (Advanced Pfaffer guidance required) and can be used by only the most seasoned of pfaffers.

Here I must use this opportunity to introduce to you the GOD of pfaffers, whose books on pfaff are bestsellers everywhere and continues to use the 3rd P with perfection yet to be attained by us mere mortals. He is none other than Philip Kotler. Most of you readers would be taken in by his stately image and oh so "realistic" examples. But there are a whole kingdom of pfaffers who will back me when I say Kotler is GOD. In reality Kotler is a victim of fate which led him to become what he is. Initially, in his childhood he was just like any of us, a kid with the ambition of scaling the hieghts of pfaffdom. His mother an orthodox christian wanted him to be brought up in the ways of the prudish gentlemen. The stately double breasted suit wearing politician or at the very least a manager in a bank. His father though realised his potential and encouraged him in secrecy. Caught in the throes of a classic dilemma and his unwantingness to choose between the things he liked most, he devoted his time to work on a self triggered micro schizophrenia. In it he would be conscious of his two identities, would work on both simultaneously while being able to control the appearance of both at will. This was no mean feat, as scientists and doctors alike are still trying  to find the exact sequencing of various ingested chemicals to bring about such a condition. What is important though is that it remains unknown to even the closest of people around him and is only known to the mican belt of the pfaffer community. Though we had access to such a valuable information the iron clad ethics of our community binds us from ever taking advantage of it. His book on "Marketing" remains the best work on pfaff till date and can be bought here.

I hope that this guide to pfaffing has helped some of you noob readers to grasp the essence of pfaffing and the responsibility which the title of a pfaffer brings with it. For any questions leave behind a comment and I'll get back to you.

6 Best Brain Diseases to have..

Though as a rule I avoid discussing diseases but I found this fantastic post a part of which is posted below. After reading through it, I think some of you might even want to have 1-2 of these.. Don't believe it ..? read through it before deciding..

1. Photographic Memory

We have all heard of people with so called "photographic memories". Usually we use it when referring to someone who has an above average ability to recall information about the past or about their surroundings. True photographic memory of the kind exhibited by Stephen Wiltshire is truly a rare but amazing gift. Mr. Wiltshire is an autistic savant and those that know him call him "the living camera". When he was 11 years old he drew a perfect representation of the aerial view of London after a single helicopter ride, down to the correct number of windows on the major buildings of the city. This is perhaps one of the coolest feats of the human brain I have ever seen. Below is a video of Stephen Wiltshire showcasing his abilities.

2. Tertiary Neurosyphilis 

Tertiary neurosyphilis, is the most interesting form of syphilis from a cultural point of view. Just before the onset of paralysis, the sufferer is beset with delusions of grandeur, a sense of understanding everything, a sense that he is on the verge of some monumental discovery which will forever change the course of history, as well as a sense that some divine electricity is coursing through his veins.

Since in this preliminary stage of tertiary syphilis, powers of expression are not impaired, a syphilitic who is also an artist may well produce a work of art that reflects this state of mind or, rather, this state of brain. Bob Summers felt that “King of Tetch” was just this kind of work. Wilhelm Reich felt that he had unlocked the secrets of the universe with the discovery of orgone energy, something that could now be accumulated in his orgone boxes, which would make power stations unnecessary.

Hayden feels that Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony was composed under these circumstances, after syphilis had destroyed Beethoven’s hearing and was in the process of destroying his brain as well. “Seid umschlungen Millionen!” The grandiosity of Schiller’s poem is matched by the grandiosity of Beethoven’s musical score, which, at least in terms of the Ode to Joy chorus, is based on a moronic melody (melody was never Beethoven’s strong suit anyway), as the film Dearly Beloved makes clear. The brain of the syphilitic approaching general paralysis of the insane is like the light bulb that grows brighter just before it burns out completely. The syphilitic experiences, in Hayden’s words,

"episodes of creative euphoria, electrified, joyous energy when grandiosity led to a new vision. The heightened perception, dazzling insights, and almost mystical knowledge experienced during this time were expressed while precision of form of expression was still possible. At the end of the 19th century, it was believed that, in rare instances, syphilis could produce genius."

- excerpts from Deborah Hayden, Pox: Genius, Madness, and the Mysteries  of Syphilis (New York: Basic Books, 2003), 379 pp., Reviewed by E.Michael Jones, Ph.D.

3. Synesthesia

Synesthesia can occur between nearly any two senses or perceptual modes. While nearly every possible combination of experiences is logically possible, several types are more common than others.

Grapheme → color synesthesia 

How someone with synesthesia might perceive (not "see") certain letters and numbers.
*Some synesthetes who actually see colors on the page could look at the picture on the left and actually see it as it is shown on the right, so at a glance they could see which are the 2s and which are the 5s.

In one of the most common forms of synesthesia, grapheme → color synesthesia, individual letters of the alphabet and numbers (collectively referred to as graphemes), are "shaded" or "tinged" with a color. While no two synesthetes will report the same colors for all letters and numbers, studies of large numbers of synesthetes find that there are some commonalities across letters (e.g., A is likely to be red) . -wikipedia

Music → color synesthesia 

In music → color synesthesia, individuals experience colors in response to tones or other aspects of musical stimuli (e.g., timbre or key). Like grapheme → color synesthesia, there is rarely agreement amongst synesthetes that a given tone will be a certain color, but individuals are internally consistent. Tested months later, synesthetes will report the same experiences as they had previously reported.

Color changes in response to pitch may involve more than just the hue of the color. Lightness (the amount of black in a color; red with black may appear brown), saturation (the intensity of the color; candy red is highly saturated, while pink is almost unsaturated), and hue may all be affected to varying degrees. Additionally, music → color synesthetes, unlike grapheme → color synesthetes, often report that the colors move, or stream into and out of their field of view. 

- From Wikipedia, click here for more info 

4. Savantism without major autistic impairments.

Daniel Paul Tammet is a British autistic savant gifted with a facility for mathematics problems, sequence memory, and natural language learning. He was born with congenital childhood epilepsy.

Experiencing numbers as colors or sensations is a well-documented form of synesthesia, but Tammet is unique in how specific and detailed his mental imagery of numbers is. He claims that in his mind each number, up to 10,000, has its own unique shape and feel, and he can "sense" whether a number is prime or composite and "see" results of calculations as landscapes in his mind. He has described his visual image of 289 as particularly ugly, 333 as particularly attractive, and pi as beautiful.

Tammet holds the European record for memorizing and recounting pi to 22,514 digits in just over five hours. This sponsored charity challenge was held in aid of the National Society for Epilepsy (NSE) on “Pi Day,” 14 March 2004 at the Museum of the History of Science, Oxford, UK. The NSE was chosen to benefit from this event because of Daniel's experience with epilepsy as a young child. Professor Allan Snyder at the Australian National University said of Tammet: “Savants can't usually tell us how they do what they do. It just comes to them. Daniel can. He describes what he sees in his head. That's why he's exciting. He could be the ‘Rosetta Stone.’”

- From Wikipedia Click Here for more information about Daniel

5. Congenital Insensitivity to Pain (CIPA)

Congenital insensitivity to pain (or congenital analgia) is a rare condition where a child cannot feel (and has never felt) physical pain.Cognition and sensation is otherwise normal, for instance they can still feel discriminative touch (though not always temperature), and there is no detectable physical abnormality.These children often suffer oral cavity damage (such as having bitten off the tip of their tongue) or fractures to bones. Unnoticed infections, and corneal damage due to foreign objects in the eye are also seen.
From Wikipedia Click Here for more information about CIPA

Also Here a little girl with CIPA was featured on the Oprah Show. 

6. Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS)

Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome results in a spontaneous and persistent genital arousal, with or without orgasm or genital engorgement, unrelated to any feelings of sexual desire. It was first documented by Dr. Sandra Leiblum in 2001, only recently characterized as a distinct syndrome in medical literature. In particular, it is not related to hypersexuality, sometimes known as nymphomania or satyriasis. In addition to being very rare the condition is also frequently unreported by sufferers who may consider it shameful or embarrassing.

Physical arousal caused by this syndrome can be very intense and persist for extended periods, days or weeks at a time. Orgasm can sometimes provide temporary relief, but within hours the symptoms return. The symptoms can be debilitating, preventing concentration on mundane tasks. Some situations, such as riding in an automobile or train, vibrations from mobile phones, and even going to the toilet can aggravate the syndrome unbearably.

- From Wikipedia for more information on PSAS Click Here

Example: Woman has 300+ orgasms per day: http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/orgasms.html