I have always believed that everyone can write because the only thing needed to write is the ability to bare your soul. Only if you feel something can you write about it.
7th September, 2008
I was alone travelling in the train. A million thoughts were running through my mind as usual. I was looking at people frowning, smiling, talking and sleeping. Headphones were on too. And suddenly I thought I should go home n write this or maybe I wished I had a pen n paper with me, I would start writing then n there. I’ve always felt I wanna write but somehow never did. I was too lazy or I dunno I cud always give a lotta reasons fer not doin something. But this today I just thought no m gonna do this. It’s not like I had anything special on my mind. But just.
Went to town, met my friends, and heard a lot of taunts. Don’t really know if they affected me. Everyone had so much happening in their life and I had no idea about it and I felt so lost n left out and I wonder who’s at fault or is it anyones fault at all. And suddenly this question “Where is my life heading? What do I really want?”
And I don’t really know if I have an answer to that. Well, if I see my life right now, it seems just perfect. I work, I study, I sleep in time, and I do my share of tp, party on weekends, movies. I am doing everything. But still this emptiness, still the urge to do something. And I want to know what that something is and I don’t know how. I have a plan ahead of me, how much I stick with it, only God knows. I feel sure I want to do this but again how, where, who is gonna guide me. I need someone to take me through it. But something inside of me tells me that no one can do this for me. No amount of pursuing and pushing is gonna help. Its only my efforts that’s gonna get me through in life. I need the stability, the security, I want to make it big in life and I know its not gonna come so easy but the realization is yet to set in and I’m waiting, desperately waiting.
And the need for a partner gets stronger n stronger with every passing day. I have a million people around me. So called friend’s, good friend’s and best friends. Just about everyone seems to have a place in my life irrespective of the consideration other people have of me. And I still feel alone, so so alone. And things go wrong everytime. I wait for the time when things will fall in place and I find the right guy but I don’t know how to manage till then. I have no clue how to get through this phase. But I’m not giving up hope. That’s one thing I’ve learnt in recent times. I’ve always been optimistic since really long but now m learning to not give up. I wanna hold on but the problem is I don’t have anything or anyone to hold on to. Maybe I’m trying to grab things and m left with nothing in hand. My aunt always tells me her life and mine is the same. I watch her n just smile n think to myself that no this is not gonna be my fate, m gonna carve out a way better life for myself and all u will do is watch me happy n smiling and not sulking the way you are. Somehow I feel I have the positivity in me but something’s amiss that’s holding me back in life and I just hope I find that missing factor in my life and m gonna be good to go from there and I will always keep smiling no matter what. J That reminds me, I was just looking through photos of the typhoon in Philippines and this woman; she was smiling for th photograph standing on a mattress in the middle of so much water n a completely broken house. Her entire effort, her home was gone, and yet she could smile through it. Its amazing how she’s still got her hopes and she ain’t giving up and I think it cant get any better. Keep your hopes, work hard and life is just so beautiful. It feels so good when you’ve worked hard for something and the sense of achievement and what follows is just so good. Hmm… and now I’m outta words. :P
Please don't be cringy when it comes to comments.. this post means a lot to the person concerned.. A push will go a long way .. From my side, the post is as good as any of mine if not better, if only I could be so true, so open while writing... :standsupandclaps:
5 rambles:
I completely agree when you say.. anyone can write if you bare your soul...there is so much in it to bare anyway...
To your friend... thats a typical phase in everyone's life... keep penning it down and you will have space for more optimism... Do not forget to carry a paper and pen ALWAYS... helps in expressing thoughts and observations... n that makes you feel good! ;) Cheers!
Hi ,
I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘ReDmpTiON spEaKs ...’took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;
BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!
This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)
Cheers,
thanx nabila ... ur comments are appreciated by my friend and even moreso by me. Do visit again .. coz I'll be visiting urs again def.
A post straight from the heart. Continue writing!
@redemption's friend....
you not only write well but write with extreme honesty, which trust me, is very rare. And to think that this was the frst thing written by you ever, I'm honestly in awe.
keep writing. When lonely, pick up that pen and paperand do wht u seem pretty good at doing. :)
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