Monday, December 08, 2008

The Lazy Bum's Guide to Pfaffing

First of all... its pfaffing not faffing as the oxford dictionary and the likes of it like to refer it as. Those who do not practise it have no right to undermine the sentiments of those who do.  We as MICANS believe we have GOD's authority to dictate what goes and what doesn't in pfaffing. With that in order I think we can move ahead to the actual execution of above said. I have already written a post on pfaffing which I feel is quite an indepth take on the subject and definately adequate for all new"pfaffers", you can click here for it or here for someone else's take on it. Please note I have used only MICAN references for obvious reasons. 

If you are reading this, you are either done reading the above mentioned posts, or taken the smart choice of staying with this post. Moving ahead, this is a lazy bum's guide to pfaffing written by another lazy bum. It is safe to say at this point of time that the lazy bum writing this post is also very bored and has nothing better to do in life at this point of time (has plenty to do .. simply choses not to do it ... read between the lines .. (corollary 1) ).

There have been a lot of models on Pfaffing.. Actually the evolution of Pfaffing as a concept is perhaps as old as Marketing itself. The difference is basically in the alphabets used for denotation of the various models e.g. Marketing has the famous 4 c's and 7 p's while Pfaffing has the infamous B3 and the 3p's. 

The B3 of Pfaffing are as follows:

Bullshit Baffles Brains

As much as i would like to take credit for the same, it was proposed by an intellectual who goes by the name Mayz.

An analysis of the same reveals the following. 

Pfaff can be defined as any bullshit that baffles the brain (Now you know why it is a Lazy Bum's guide to Pfaffing. Theres no way a Lazy Bum would go through an indepth analysis (or write one for that matter which is my case) to find the valuable insights which he could use) . Or to make it even simpler, Pfaff is any crap you blurt out to create a situation where the person in front of you is so confused that he thinks you are genius to say what you did.

The 3 p's of Pfaff will be covered in relatively more detail. The 3 p's of Pfaff are as follows

1. Polysyllabic profundity 

2. Parapsychic hogwash par excellence

3. Particularly digressing and obnubilating

Before we go on to explaining the 3 p's we should understand the 3 rules of Pfaffing

1. The one in front of you is a total idiot and is fortunate enough to have you pfaff to him, think of it as an example of your open hearted generosity.

2. Use of long, difficult to pronunce words with an accent to match is a must to give an aura of learnedness

3. The core crux of Pfaffing is based on the concept of its being totally irrelevant to the topic in question. The more irrelevant it is (interspersed with the right jargons ofcourse), the more confused the listener and the better the Pfaff.

Now to the 3 P's

1. The more syllables a word has, the more difficult it is for an Indian to pronounce it. The more difficult it is to pronounce, the better the weightage given to it. So if suppose you use a word like rodomontade as a compliment to someone you don't like. Chances are that in 99.99% of the time, the concerned person would walk away feeling elated. More crucial is that it follows the Universal Law 2 of Pfaffing and thus is relevant even today. A thing to note here is that the MICA 10th batch school of thought says that Pfaff is possible even without the use of the 1st P and has been proved in various test situations. So this P though relevant is not universal

2. There is a limit to which a normal person can digest information, leave alone process it. Anything beyond that is termed in medical jargons as parapsychic. If the information in question is bullshit served on a silver platter, the capacity drops to alarmingly low levels. Thus almost all kinds of Pfaff's can be covered under this and this remains the most used P by the novices.

3. There is nothing as confusing as irrelevance. As all pfaffers know, the basic truth of life is confuse and conquer. A confused man in the bush is worth two dumb men in front of you. These words of wisdom have traversed generations of wise men, faced endless storms and still lived to show their beacon of relevance even today. If an irrelevant topic is planted strategically in the midst of an engrossing conversation it results in a state of disorientation for the listener. This eventually leads to a chemical reaction succeeded by blowing up of gas bubbles in the brain, blocking the busy intersection between the left and right lobes, creating a extremely common condition called confusion. In this state the listener or victim, as some of us like to refer to them as, is the most vulnerable. This vulnerability gives an opportunity for the pfaffer to unleash his latent potential and break into uncharted territories he never knew he could conquer. This P comes with a rating of APG (Advanced Pfaffer guidance required) and can be used by only the most seasoned of pfaffers.

Here I must use this opportunity to introduce to you the GOD of pfaffers, whose books on pfaff are bestsellers everywhere and continues to use the 3rd P with perfection yet to be attained by us mere mortals. He is none other than Philip Kotler. Most of you readers would be taken in by his stately image and oh so "realistic" examples. But there are a whole kingdom of pfaffers who will back me when I say Kotler is GOD. In reality Kotler is a victim of fate which led him to become what he is. Initially, in his childhood he was just like any of us, a kid with the ambition of scaling the hieghts of pfaffdom. His mother an orthodox christian wanted him to be brought up in the ways of the prudish gentlemen. The stately double breasted suit wearing politician or at the very least a manager in a bank. His father though realised his potential and encouraged him in secrecy. Caught in the throes of a classic dilemma and his unwantingness to choose between the things he liked most, he devoted his time to work on a self triggered micro schizophrenia. In it he would be conscious of his two identities, would work on both simultaneously while being able to control the appearance of both at will. This was no mean feat, as scientists and doctors alike are still trying  to find the exact sequencing of various ingested chemicals to bring about such a condition. What is important though is that it remains unknown to even the closest of people around him and is only known to the mican belt of the pfaffer community. Though we had access to such a valuable information the iron clad ethics of our community binds us from ever taking advantage of it. His book on "Marketing" remains the best work on pfaff till date and can be bought here.

I hope that this guide to pfaffing has helped some of you noob readers to grasp the essence of pfaffing and the responsibility which the title of a pfaffer brings with it. For any questions leave behind a comment and I'll get back to you.

6 Best Brain Diseases to have..

Though as a rule I avoid discussing diseases but I found this fantastic post a part of which is posted below. After reading through it, I think some of you might even want to have 1-2 of these.. Don't believe it ..? read through it before deciding..

1. Photographic Memory

We have all heard of people with so called "photographic memories". Usually we use it when referring to someone who has an above average ability to recall information about the past or about their surroundings. True photographic memory of the kind exhibited by Stephen Wiltshire is truly a rare but amazing gift. Mr. Wiltshire is an autistic savant and those that know him call him "the living camera". When he was 11 years old he drew a perfect representation of the aerial view of London after a single helicopter ride, down to the correct number of windows on the major buildings of the city. This is perhaps one of the coolest feats of the human brain I have ever seen. Below is a video of Stephen Wiltshire showcasing his abilities.




2. Tertiary Neurosyphilis 

Tertiary neurosyphilis, is the most interesting form of syphilis from a cultural point of view. Just before the onset of paralysis, the sufferer is beset with delusions of grandeur, a sense of understanding everything, a sense that he is on the verge of some monumental discovery which will forever change the course of history, as well as a sense that some divine electricity is coursing through his veins.

Since in this preliminary stage of tertiary syphilis, powers of expression are not impaired, a syphilitic who is also an artist may well produce a work of art that reflects this state of mind or, rather, this state of brain. Bob Summers felt that “King of Tetch” was just this kind of work. Wilhelm Reich felt that he had unlocked the secrets of the universe with the discovery of orgone energy, something that could now be accumulated in his orgone boxes, which would make power stations unnecessary.

Hayden feels that Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony was composed under these circumstances, after syphilis had destroyed Beethoven’s hearing and was in the process of destroying his brain as well. “Seid umschlungen Millionen!” The grandiosity of Schiller’s poem is matched by the grandiosity of Beethoven’s musical score, which, at least in terms of the Ode to Joy chorus, is based on a moronic melody (melody was never Beethoven’s strong suit anyway), as the film Dearly Beloved makes clear. The brain of the syphilitic approaching general paralysis of the insane is like the light bulb that grows brighter just before it burns out completely. The syphilitic experiences, in Hayden’s words,

"episodes of creative euphoria, electrified, joyous energy when grandiosity led to a new vision. The heightened perception, dazzling insights, and almost mystical knowledge experienced during this time were expressed while precision of form of expression was still possible. At the end of the 19th century, it was believed that, in rare instances, syphilis could produce genius."

- excerpts from Deborah Hayden, Pox: Genius, Madness, and the Mysteries  of Syphilis (New York: Basic Books, 2003), 379 pp., Reviewed by E.Michael Jones, Ph.D.

3. Synesthesia

Synesthesia can occur between nearly any two senses or perceptual modes. While nearly every possible combination of experiences is logically possible, several types are more common than others.

Grapheme → color synesthesia 

How someone with synesthesia might perceive (not "see") certain letters and numbers.
*Some synesthetes who actually see colors on the page could look at the picture on the left and actually see it as it is shown on the right, so at a glance they could see which are the 2s and which are the 5s.

In one of the most common forms of synesthesia, grapheme → color synesthesia, individual letters of the alphabet and numbers (collectively referred to as graphemes), are "shaded" or "tinged" with a color. While no two synesthetes will report the same colors for all letters and numbers, studies of large numbers of synesthetes find that there are some commonalities across letters (e.g., A is likely to be red) . -wikipedia

Music → color synesthesia 

In music → color synesthesia, individuals experience colors in response to tones or other aspects of musical stimuli (e.g., timbre or key). Like grapheme → color synesthesia, there is rarely agreement amongst synesthetes that a given tone will be a certain color, but individuals are internally consistent. Tested months later, synesthetes will report the same experiences as they had previously reported.

Color changes in response to pitch may involve more than just the hue of the color. Lightness (the amount of black in a color; red with black may appear brown), saturation (the intensity of the color; candy red is highly saturated, while pink is almost unsaturated), and hue may all be affected to varying degrees. Additionally, music → color synesthetes, unlike grapheme → color synesthetes, often report that the colors move, or stream into and out of their field of view. 

- From Wikipedia, click here for more info 

4. Savantism without major autistic impairments.

Daniel Paul Tammet is a British autistic savant gifted with a facility for mathematics problems, sequence memory, and natural language learning. He was born with congenital childhood epilepsy.

Experiencing numbers as colors or sensations is a well-documented form of synesthesia, but Tammet is unique in how specific and detailed his mental imagery of numbers is. He claims that in his mind each number, up to 10,000, has its own unique shape and feel, and he can "sense" whether a number is prime or composite and "see" results of calculations as landscapes in his mind. He has described his visual image of 289 as particularly ugly, 333 as particularly attractive, and pi as beautiful.

Tammet holds the European record for memorizing and recounting pi to 22,514 digits in just over five hours. This sponsored charity challenge was held in aid of the National Society for Epilepsy (NSE) on “Pi Day,” 14 March 2004 at the Museum of the History of Science, Oxford, UK. The NSE was chosen to benefit from this event because of Daniel's experience with epilepsy as a young child. Professor Allan Snyder at the Australian National University said of Tammet: “Savants can't usually tell us how they do what they do. It just comes to them. Daniel can. He describes what he sees in his head. That's why he's exciting. He could be the ‘Rosetta Stone.’”

- From Wikipedia Click Here for more information about Daniel


5. Congenital Insensitivity to Pain (CIPA)

Congenital insensitivity to pain (or congenital analgia) is a rare condition where a child cannot feel (and has never felt) physical pain.Cognition and sensation is otherwise normal, for instance they can still feel discriminative touch (though not always temperature), and there is no detectable physical abnormality.These children often suffer oral cavity damage (such as having bitten off the tip of their tongue) or fractures to bones. Unnoticed infections, and corneal damage due to foreign objects in the eye are also seen.
From Wikipedia Click Here for more information about CIPA

Also Here a little girl with CIPA was featured on the Oprah Show. 

6. Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS)

Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome results in a spontaneous and persistent genital arousal, with or without orgasm or genital engorgement, unrelated to any feelings of sexual desire. It was first documented by Dr. Sandra Leiblum in 2001, only recently characterized as a distinct syndrome in medical literature. In particular, it is not related to hypersexuality, sometimes known as nymphomania or satyriasis. In addition to being very rare the condition is also frequently unreported by sufferers who may consider it shameful or embarrassing.

Physical arousal caused by this syndrome can be very intense and persist for extended periods, days or weeks at a time. Orgasm can sometimes provide temporary relief, but within hours the symptoms return. The symptoms can be debilitating, preventing concentration on mundane tasks. Some situations, such as riding in an automobile or train, vibrations from mobile phones, and even going to the toilet can aggravate the syndrome unbearably.

- From Wikipedia for more information on PSAS Click Here

Example: Woman has 300+ orgasms per day: http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/orgasms.html

Saturday, December 06, 2008

When you manage to squeeze enough toothpaste out for one last brush

 

Say you wake up Monday morning and realize you forgot to set your alarm clock. Now not only did you miss out on some quality snoozetime, but you’re late for work to boot. You jump out of bed, jump on the toilet, jump in the shower, jump into some clothes, and run to the bathroom to brush your teeth before running out the door.

But then you see it.

That thin, rolled-up toothpaste tube laying completely empty on your counter, the life completely squeezed out of it over the past few weeks. Your jaw drops and your memory flies back…

… you vividly recall making the first soft dent in the tube’s cylindrical purity, back when the paste was flowing like water, just waiting to come out. It seemed like it would never end. Over the next few weeks, there were some great moments, like:


1.  The time you forgot to put the lid on and had to squeeze real hard        through a tiny pinprick hole in the center of the congealed toothpaste wall the next day.
2.  The first time you had to roll it up, coiling the thick, once-mighty toothpaste anaconda into a   tightly wound fraction of itself. This was foreshadowing, but still — the paste kept flowing and       you thought nothing of it.
3.  The time you thought you actually were out of toothpaste, but you managed to unroll it and     slide it real hard across the edge of your bathroom counter, completely coaxing all the minty         green molecules up to the front door.


You smile slightly at the foggy memories of those better days, before your brain quickly jerks you forward to the present.

Which is right now. When you’re late for work. 

You stare into your empty tube of toothpaste, you glance quickly at your watch, and you decide to just for go for it, one last time.

You grab your brush, grit your teeth, and squeeze your thumb and forefinger together as hard as you can, right on the head of the toothpaste tube. You squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze, your thumb pounding, your brow pulsing, your brush pleading…

… until it finally comes: that very last, very weak, very small little dot of toothpaste, just peeking its head out the front door of the tube, just in time for you to swipe at it with your toothbrush, swab it around your mouth, and spit it out.

AWESOME!

source: http://1000awesomethings.com/2008/11/03/904-one-last-brush/

Pictures from: here, here and here

A thought for a thought

Its not everyday that you actually sit down and think about things. Ya it happens by accident mostly specially when we are in the loo. It is said we get our best ideas in the loo, atleast its true for me. But that's enough about it all, the main point of focus is that I was thinking. And while thinking I thought about what I was really thinking. You may think its about the most hopeless attempts of mine so far in my blog journey and maybe you should give up on my post just about now. But I implore you, stick with me for sometime more and it WILL make sense... somehow. You know theres always this gnawing feeling inside as if theres something missing. I have somehow never made peace with myself. It's always I couldn't get this. I couldn't get that. Its as if I have never been satisfied with the results unless they were in my favour and then too I just accepted it and moved on to another bout of cribbing. In essence my journey in life so far has been just about cribbing. Why do I feel so, is it just another pang of misery which led me to write this post? No it isn't, I am writing this post because I have always observed a little of me in everyone I meet. Maybe it's just my way of saying thanks, or my inability to react to a compliment, or my anger or my ego ... The list is endless and seemingly so is the flow of people into and out of my life.  Call me a self centred b*****d for "me" meing all this while, but its true. 

A little analysis showed me exactly what I knew all this while. The journey is always the essence of any thing we do. The hunt is always better than the kill, the courtship is always the best part of the romance. We see numerous such example still fail to realise the one thing thats the most important, "NOW". 

Our now is always a mix of the past and the future... the real present is usually gone before we realise it and then it becomes a part of the unchangeable past. If only we devoted some time to the future, the past would be ... well the past.. and future would be really something worth celebrating.  But then we never know what the future holds so why not cherish the present before it becomes the past. 

I have heard people say that though our mind has "unlimited" potential, only a fragment of it is tapped by us "normal" beings while some who exploit it more gain extraordinary powers. I say its bullshit. Though I acknowledge and respect the "extraordinary" men who went and did which we could not, but its not because what they have, but more because what they don't have. The thing which probably they didn't have in their minds is the trash that we keep collecting and storing moment after moment. We select the most useless piece of information out of what is available to us and store it in the most coveted storage place we have, our brain. When it is time to store the more important information useful time is spent in selecting which "useless" information to remove to make space for the new "important and useful" information. A little tidbit to prove my point. Did you know that Thomas Alva Edison used to take out his diary when asked for a address and could not remember any without the diary? Would you call such a great scientist an idiot for not remembering one's address? surely he should have been more capable with an IQ like his? It was more due to his insistence on NOT memorizing them than anything else which led to this. He did not want his mind filled with seemingly useless things like addresses which could be stored in a diary rather than some interesting theory he could use for an invention of his. The potential of our mind is what we make it to be and not the other way around.

I believe in the power of man, that man alone has the power to shape his/her own destiny. Just about everything is in our own hands should we chose to exercise our right and claim the reigns. Too long have we employed the services of the unnamed, faceless strangers to the task of running our lives, its time we took control and gave it a direction we thought right. One in my place often wonders, and I do too, about the direction his/her life is taking and not just about career, even generally. Often after 30-40 years of life one feels like asking oneself what is it that we have really achieved. I don't think I can answer it yet and I hope I can answer it someday. I don't wish to see my epitaph saying "he was a good man and he led an honest life", I do not want to see "he achieved the pinnacle of success..." what I really want to see is "he was content on how his life had shaped, he has no regrets".

I want to die ... NO ... live a content man... A man who has no regrets when he sees his past from the present, a man who dreams about a present like future....

Friday, November 07, 2008

My book .. still remains unfinished .. but Ive moved forward, Ive had many comments given privately over the prologue and excerpts from the first chapter are provided for want of more comments.


.... I lit a candle. There was no one. I thought I had heard some whispers. It must’ve been the wind playing tricks. I went back inside my “room” if you could call it that. More like a prison if you ask me, a prisoner by choice though so I couldn’t really complain. Its not like I had to do this, no one was forcing me, it had been a self conscious decision for me and its not like I had always been wanting to do this, but ever since I had heard about it, I had been fascinated about it. Its like a new world had been opened for me. The possibilities seemed endless and the road clear. But err... How do I bell the “CAT”..? This question had foxed a whole lot of “intellectuals” I had the good fortune to know. Some had suggested using Newton’s laws, some Einstein’s relativity, some even designed a model which could predict if the method I was going to use would be successful or not. Some “non-intellectuals” helped me in their own way... suggested watching “GUNDA” and do some soul searching. For those unfortunate souls who have not been exposed to the light of “GUNDA” ... its somewhat like 5 Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy combined into 1 motion picture. Its even better than an OSHO discourse in some ways. Its got a solution for everything you might want to know, but sadly enough it left out the one question I did want to ask, the way to bell the CAT. I went online to search up some google gyaan as they liked to call it. Instead found something really absurd. A Guru named Allwin who called himself “Pagalguy” for some weird reason or whim or whatever, had founded a community of his own. Lovingly called PG... it was like the mecca of CAT lovers; the ultimate gathering place for everything to do with it. The great thing about it was that everyone was there to help, but then that’s another story. Its not that I found it through some really good detective skills; i “stumbled” across it, in every manner of speaking. But it was like finding a whole bunch of guides, there were guys who had been there done that, there were guys, who had been there done that and lived to tell and then there were guys like me. I asked a few questions, got loads of answers, visited different rooms in the community and got friendly with a lot of great guys. I was well on the path to belling the “CAT”. It is said, that the “CAT” appears to all those who seek it, you do have to pay a princely sum to keep the appointment though, but if it clicks, you life is made. Armed with all the help, I managed to stumble across and finally faced CAT face to face. It wasn’t really as scary as it looked, just a little confusing, but within the short span of 1.5 hrs given for the appointment, I found myself facing my worst fears, feeling completely hopeless and yet finding enough in me to keep a straight mind. I had come to CAT for a purpose, a purpose of securing my future and I would get it. Or so I thought. CAT doesn’t give results straightaway, maybe its also a part of its tests. For all those who are wondering who the hell CAT is .. Its the gatekeeper to all the various hidden civilizations; only CAT can let you through the gates where the opportunities of our dreams lie. With the increasing number of smaller civilizations popping up among the “otherlowlies” race, it was only right that CAT delegate the work of gatekeeper to MAT,SNAP,XAT and the like, all siblings of the great CAT. You are simply not through by meeting up with CAT, you also have to contact the different civilizations if they are ready to take you based on CAT’s suggestions. I along with the few who had heard the Tales of MICA (not many have), knocked the doors of the mystical civilization. To our surprise.. it answered. Because it is hidden and it is very near to another huge civilization of the IIMites race, many people have missed it and even not heard of it. Even the so called “localites” who belong to neither race have at most heard of it existence and that number is at best a negligible minority. It could be called one of the “Management” World’s best kept secrets. I rushed back to the Puys and Pgals and they directed me to Chuck. I saw chuck and was instantly confused... His Hat read Deepak Gopalkrishnan and so did his ID tag, but everyone called him chuck. I tried calling him by Deepak out of respect... but he did not respond. I called out again ... “Deepak ... Deepak ..!!” still no reply, it looked like he was talking to some imaginary person, discussing something and suddenly he yelped with joy and disappeared. I was not surprised because he was said to have magical powers. I had an acceptance from the civilization of MICA but not idea how to get there. Noone as i mentioned before knew how to get in. I talked with a group of MICANs who called themselves “seniors” who assisted me through the road and eventually helped me get in. But they put a clause, I had to go out and come after 3 months. By which time they would get everything ready for us new batch of arrivals. By this time I had come to understand that Deepak answered only to the name of chuck, a self christened name, weird but true. I tried contacting the other members of our new fraternity and they responded enthusiastically. Seemingly they had come from all parts of the universe and the only way to contact them all was the ethereal medium; “the virtual world”, Internet. There was Jinxie, there was Utsav and the one and only Cooper. Every one of them had a unique identity and staked claim to the popularity vote. But no one quite knew how MICA would be, no one quite knew what adventures awaited us... And thus the story begins, the start of a brand new chapter... The way in..


Readers, please post some suggestions, any sort of help is highly appreciated... Just one last thing, I am never ever going to bad mouth an author, its tough work .. really tough work. I thought that I could definately better some authors out there. But the fact is they  have written entire books, and Im still counting pages.. with lots to go and already tired. For that reason, I need something to help me go on.. something anything.. COMMENT!!!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I was working on a project codenamed "jaadu ki jhappi" and decided to search on what munna bhai had achieved since his movie.. Out of the numerous Things that showed... One video captured my heart .. and seemingly it was voted the best video on youtube some time back with more than a million views.. 

Do check it out ..

Pass on the joy and usher in the "Free Hug" revolution ..!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

This is just a first Draft of the prologue of the book I was thinking of writing for a long time. A book about one of latest loves... MICA..

Try to enjoy it (else click on the small cross at the top right hand corner of the window)

Statutory warning:

All characters in this book are meant to resemble people dead (hopefully not) or alive on the MICA campus. Any person ignorant about the above is free to contact the author for details. Any person disliking any part of his character should face himself in the mirror and pledge to actually do something about it. 

Prologue

This book is largely concerned with a race called MICAn’s, and from its pages, the reader may discover much of their character and a little of their history. Though there isn’t much documented about this particular race, it is said to thrive in an undisclosed location near the forests of Shela. There have been many, who have tried to find this self proclaimed Shangri-la, but it is said that only the ones who really desire it, find their way in. It is said that the doors only open once in a year for the true believers to enter this hamlet, but it’s been written in various other scrolls that due to the insistence of many, the Great King PAT threw open the doors of MICA to some others, whom we will refer to as the ‘shorter ones’, at different times during the year. It’s been written on the gates of MICA with the fire that does not burn... “You can check in anytime you want... but you can never leave”. It is said that the great bard Bryan of the west, composed a song on this about the great summer of 69’ when the Great King PAT came to power and such was inscribed upon the gates. 

Many may wish to know more about these people but may not find much documented in books. All that was, was in the form of scrolls found on the bed of the yellow sea. For that reason, a brief history of the race along with their legends ... mica-lore if you may, is presented to the readers.

MICAns are among the 3 races that walk the postgraduatistan. MICAns are joined by IIMites, who form the so called elitist societies and the “oderlowlies”. IIMites and oderlowlies have often joined hands to form B-school and calls MICAns C-school, a derogatory word, not quite unlike the term muggles, used to refer to non-magical people in the world of Harry Potter. But as it is another world, we shall not dwell much on it. But MICAns being MICAns and under the able leadership of King PAT, welcomed the re-christening as an opportunity. MICAns had the freedom to run things their way and were not bound by the guidelines written by the great dictator “AICTE” in the book of law. 

MICAns are proud and very young people. Though they have not walked the earth for hundreds of years (supposedly) like the IIMites, they have a pride to match them. They love their music loud and consider partying, a second nature. They do not and did not like deadline machinery and often pushed them so far that they broke away and disappeared, much to the amusement of the people there. They are quick of hearing, sharp witted and have a secret that has a bloodline limit, “Pfaffing”. Only MICAns can possess it in the copious quantities that they have, a normal human would go crazy and perform hara kiri if exposed to such huge quantities of the same. Their great King PAT is believed to have come to power because he had developed over the years such great amounts of it and could control it with such great ease, that he defeated several powerful ex-IIMites, many much elder, who wished to gain control over the newly established kingdom. For that reason he has been accorded a title of “Pfaff King”. They are also said to be nimble and deft in their movements. They possessed from the first, the art of disappearing swiftly and silently, when folks from the neighbouring world of “Globalized Industry” came to distribute “gyaan”. MICAns were never one to accept charity, they worked hard to achieve what they got (which was not much) and/but they were proud of it. This skill they have perfected to such an extreme that outsiders deem it as magic. But MICAns were never “magical” people, and the above is solely due to the professional skill that heredity and practice, and a close bonding with each other, and which has been rendered inimitable by bigger and clumsier races like the IIMites. 

We will be talking of only the MICAns of shellington village, at the edge of the forest of shela. The other MICAns who have settled in a not so near “gardens of law”, shall be referred to as e-MICAns in the book, and thus the reader should not confuse one with the other.

We shall now continue to the adventures of the author, who will be referred to as R (for the time being, untill I get a good name), his discovery of MICA and his stay there..

CHAPTER 1 - The Hunt

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please do comment on parts which you liked (or did not.. right now preferably did not) so that I can work on it while working on the second draft. Also the rest of the story will not neccessarily follow on similar lines as the prologue and thus should not be judged on that. The story so far (The prologue) derives a lot of its inputs from J.R.R.Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" and that fact should not be held against it for the simple reason of the difference in storyline and of the book being more on the lines of a parody.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Drama
I once saw a pretty girl,
pretty I say, coz I thought it so.
I saw and saw, until it was a stare,
the stare became a gaze,
the gaze, a longing,
the longing, an urge,
the urge, a need,
the need, an obsession,
the obsession, the death of me..
I came, I saw, I sat, I gazed
Of coffees and movies and gardens and benches.
The thirst in the eyes,
a lingering pain.
There was a desire,
a need for more
Love it wasn’t,
Lust it couldn’t be.
An angel, naaah...!
From heaven she could not be.
Oh to touch her, the tingling feel,
Sparks flying hither and dither.
The changing texture
a touch, and from skin to blush
a hurt, the touch withdrawn.
The moon, the light, the flowing hair,
the choreography of desire
An ethereal envelope of emotions,
Submerged, wrecked, a drowning man
Me, in the waters of extreme passions.
A voyeuristic touch, me, a peeping tom
I see her living her life
The unwavering gaze, following her
Step... matching with step..
But as i move closer,
It leads to a blur
Reminded of Heisenberg’s uncertainty.
The unacknowledged, me,
Striving for attention
A look, a glance, a wink, a sign
Something, anything,
just to satisfy them doubters.
Finally it all changes,
Horizons reach their limit,
the central character ... disappears
the autofocus of my eyes, searching.
The nothingness unhinges me
Lives go by, people rush ahead,
Like moving images on a static frame
I wait, I wait, they come, and they go
Then Blackness...and the screen reads..
“The END”



Thursday, September 18, 2008

I am a MCP. period.

The Male chauvinism syndrome is a very interesting case should one be willing to study it. Being one I will be shedding some light on the same as an expert.

MCP was an honorary title bestowed upon us by the feminists of 1960's and we have proudly being carrying it around, flaunting it even ever since. So who or what are we?

We are supposedly people (men ofcourse) who believe that men are superior to women. But would'nt that be Male chauvinists? Yeah, but since it has been established since a long time (by women) that all men are pigs (except some exceptions, who are either hot or cute or someone who are neither but someone they are in love with) , I think the term MCP holds. So what do we do? Well nothing actually, we boss aorund women (supposedly) demeaning womenfolk worldwide, reducing their self esteem (ego) to bits etc etc. 

Do we do the above? No I don't think so. We MCP's have our code, our honour and we do not believe in the demeaning of someone we have learnt to respect as our equals. Haven't we always referred to you as our better half? Haven't we accorded the status of the "fairer sex" to you. Haven't we bestowed our undivided attention and all our energies and passion into wooing the likes of you? And still you accuse us of demeaning you? A job is a job is a job. Whether one does it sitting in a cabin/office or does it at home is irrelevant. Whether one earns money or the appreciation of people around him/her is also irrelevant. Both have their places in the Maslows heirarchy of needs and mind you both fulfil them. If you are wondering about the inequality that one sees around us in terms of husbands housekeeping and working wives then lets ask you a question. How adaptable is the world to change? It took the blacks, more than two hundered years to send one of their own to run for the presidency of the United States of America. It took just 5 to replace pagers with mobile phones. Technology changes, people don't. Every change takes time to be accepted, to sink in basically. We as humans do not like change.  Not if it forces us to change our beliefs, our traditions.. Women across civilization for centuries have belonged in the houses. The field was for the men and the house for the women. Both were efficient in what they did. The sands of time did change the outlook of women and raised the flag of feminism but men took some time to change, we are humans afterall. The MCP's you labeled way back in 1960's have long died or are probably on their way there. Like all of you reading this, we are also gen next. We like all of you are quite different from the generations before us. We believe in the equality of men and women .. all of it. But hey how can you then justify reservations for women. If you are all as good as you say you are, fight us on equal grounds. Women before you have done it you know. The Indira Nooyi's of the world had the courage to come up fight equally and prove themselves and that is why we respect her. Can someone explain to us how reservations lead to women empowerment, when reservations itself is a medium of saying that the recipient  is "lesser".

I am a MCP. Period.  Albeit a Gen-Next one. I think the age of men has long been over but the age of women is yet to begin. This transitory phase that we are in is the age where the shuffling happens. " Glass ceilings" will be broken, misconceptions will be shattered and when the world is ready the throne shall be bequeathed to its rightful owners. But there is still time for that. There will be an age of women .. but it is not now. 

So all you FCO's or Feminist Cribbing Owls ... wait a little longer your time is on its way. 

Sunday, September 07, 2008

I have always believed that everyone can write because the only thing needed to write is the ability to bare your soul. Only if you feel something can you write about it. 


I have often prodded friends of mine to take the initiative and write something, and my hard work bore fruits when a friend of mine wrote something.. I found it so... I really don't have words to describe it .. But I felt it was my blog's priviledge to have the post on it.. 

Heres the first post of a budding writer..

7th September, 2008

I was alone travelling in the train. A million thoughts were running through my mind as usual. I was looking at people frowning, smiling, talking and sleeping. Headphones were on too. And suddenly I thought I should go home n write this or maybe I wished I had a pen n paper with me, I would start writing then n there. I’ve always felt I wanna write but somehow never did. I was too lazy or I dunno I cud always give a lotta reasons fer not doin something. But this today I just thought no m gonna do this. It’s not like I had anything special on my mind. But just.

Went to town, met my friends, and heard a lot of taunts. Don’t really know if they affected me. Everyone had so much happening in their life and I had no idea about it and I felt so lost n left out and I wonder who’s at fault or is it anyones fault at all. And suddenly this question “Where is my life heading? What do I really want?”

And I don’t really know if I have an answer to that. Well, if I see my life right now, it seems just perfect. I work, I study, I sleep in time, and I do my share of tp, party on weekends, movies. I am doing everything. But still this emptiness, still the urge to do something. And I want to know what that something is and I don’t know how. I have a plan ahead of me, how much I stick with it, only God knows. I feel sure I want to do this but again how, where, who is gonna guide me. I need someone to take me through it. But something inside of me tells me that no one can do this for me. No amount of pursuing and pushing is gonna help. Its only my efforts that’s gonna get me through in life. I need the stability, the security, I want to make it big in life and I know its not gonna come so easy but the realization is yet to set in and I’m waiting, desperately waiting.

And the need for a partner gets stronger n stronger with every passing day. I have a million people around me. So called friend’s, good friend’s and best friends. Just about everyone seems to have a place in my life irrespective of the consideration other people have of me. And I still feel alone, so so alone. And things go wrong everytime. I wait for the time when things will fall in place and I find the right guy but I don’t know how to manage till then. I have no clue how to get through this phase. But I’m not giving up hope. That’s one thing I’ve learnt in recent times. I’ve always been optimistic since really long but now m learning to not give up. I wanna hold on but the problem is I don’t have anything or anyone to hold on to. Maybe I’m trying to grab things and m left with nothing in hand. My aunt always tells me her life and mine is the same. I watch her n just smile n think to myself that no this is not gonna be my fate, m gonna carve out a way better life for myself and all u will do is watch me happy n smiling and not sulking the way you are. Somehow I feel I have the positivity in me but something’s amiss that’s holding me back in life and I just hope I find that missing factor in my life and m gonna be good to go from there and I will always keep smiling no matter what. J That reminds me, I was just looking through photos of the typhoon in Philippines and this woman; she was smiling for th photograph standing on a mattress in the middle of so much water n a completely broken house. Her entire effort, her home was gone, and yet she could smile through it. Its amazing how she’s still got her hopes and she ain’t giving up and I think it cant get any better. Keep your hopes, work hard and life is just so beautiful. It feels so good when you’ve worked hard for something and the sense of achievement and what follows is just so good. Hmm… and now I’m outta words. :P


Please don't be cringy when it comes to comments.. this post means a lot to the person concerned.. A push will go a long way ..  From my side, the post is as good as any of mine if not better, if only I could be so true, so open while writing... :standsupandclaps:

Friday, September 05, 2008

The C Phobia...

Disclaimer: This article is not meant for hard core commitment fanatics nor for the big brawned males who think it might be an insult to their masculinity or for that matter anyone who can cause me any kind of hurt should this not appeal to their (limited) mental capabilities.


I start this article by saying that whoever associated the term “commitment phobia” with guys ( I am assuming it was guy because in the good old days there were only a limited number of women studying beyond high school... and who did go beyond that to do their phd would refrain from writing such a statement to avoid getting their grants cut off by the male dominated grant boards) was the biggest loser. It has led to one of the biggest stereotyping exercise this world has ever known; the stereotyping of men with commitment phobia. If Men have this so called “phenomenon” of commitment phobia... then what do you call the women who perpetually change their minds about men at the last stage of the commitment.. saying “ ... but all men are jerks”. But I understand that this article is not meant to be a revelation about the girls having commitment problems too; they are blissfully enjoying their ignorance and it is only fair to let them.

Onto the problem affecting men in particular and mankind as a whole...A recent study has revealed that all men were not made that way.. That is, GOD didn’t intend to make men commitment phobic, it is an anomaly of the gene structure that leads to such a condition and as it is an anomaly... Not all people have the problem.. But we will delve into the “not all” problem later. The study by Karolinska Institute shows that a gene variant can lead to the above mentioned phenomenon. But then as with all conditions/phenomenon known to man, this too has various reasons associated with it. It is not just the gene variant that causes it (obviously, you wouldn’t be satisfied with such a simple answer would you.. everything has to have a complex solution or atleast a complicated reason behind it, doesn’t it ??)

In the article that follows I will be revealing what goes inside a guy’s brain, why he behaves like he does, why he is what he is...

Disclaimer: This study has “NOT” involved live subjects for experiment purposes so the various acts against cruelty towards animals cannot be applied here.
Caution: This article is supposed to represent all guys alive or dead in totality. Anyone in disagreement with the same should go and have their gender rechecked.

Why are we... What we are..?
It is an interesting question because it deals with what we could have become if we wern’t and what we should be in the event a change is possible. The possible reason of our being what we are is because the other half of the society being what it is; the other half of the society being the “fairer” sex. Why should they be called the fairer sex? Do we assume that every guy is atleast a shade darker than the least fair girl alive? Do we presume ourselves to be devoid or if not devoid have a depleted supply of the fairness genome?
BBC news says that women have more cells in the brain and are actually smarter considering the smaller size of brain that they have. So do we now leave all the “smart” work to the women and take on the daily chores?
Women, since time immemorial, have tried to create a mysterious aura around them. To make men feel helpless when it comes to deducing what their actions, subtle hints, or for that matter their sentences (or in some cases just words) mean! I mean, there must’ve been atleast a zillion articles written on how men find it utterly impossible to understand women. Women seem to revel in the fact that most men squirm in their seats trying to deduce what must be the thoughts going on in the women sitting next to him, should I go for the kiss or not, should I ask her out or not, should I agree with her when she says that the food was good or say her cooking is better etc.. Every subtle eyelash movement is crucial, every flitting glance, every nose twitch or cough. A moments attention loss can cost the poor guy atleast a month of despair.. not that he always succeeds even with the best detective skills. Might be one reason why Sherlock Holmes was always shown without a girl companion or even a love interest. Girls were one mystery that perhaps even he couldn’t solve.
What is common to all of the above examples? They are all examples of society trying to demean men; trying to create a sort of superiority complex for the females. Why should guys be forced to answer in front of a society which is continuously plotting against them, to a question that is set to question his personal beliefs? But I will answer it for the benefit of the few somebody’s who wish to sit and listen and perhaps even analyse what it is that is plaguing the world to cause it to have such a screwed up relationship lifetime. Why is it that the most committed of people end up running away as soon as their commitment gets a name?

Let us try to think of it from a male perspective, why does the average rahul get relationship jitters, when his girlfriend ask him to get married... or if it is too advanced; when his “close” friend wants to go to the next level.

There is a very simple answer to the above, freedom. Yes this one word is one of the prime reasons why men get the jelly legs. Just think of a world where guys are bound by imaginary chains, have blinders placed on the sides of their faces, have a radar on their head to warn of approaching females with an automatic lock down on brain activity for the time when the female is within the prescribed danger threshold radius, a self injective sedative capsule attached to his neck to administer as soon as the heartbeats grow stronger on smelling the pheromones given out by the opposite sex. Maybe even a password enabled lock down, you know where, to ensure that even if all the above force fields are violated, there would be a last line of defence to protect “their” males from provocative advances from the morally loose members of their sex. This is what the general perception of commitment is; c considering that the girl becomes overpossesive after the relationship gets a name, that every girl that the poor guy talks with, is a potential boyfriend snatcher. Every female acquaintance, more so the good looking ones become off limits even for friendly chats. The high level of insecurity which most girls bring to the table along with the commitment status becomes unnerving for the strongest of hearts. Add on it the pester power that girls in general seem to have. Pester power refers to the ability of a person to manipulate the other person in question by repeated pestering i.e. banter regarding a particular topic, which ultimately the other person has to give in to what can only be described as “peace of mind”. Previously the term was associated with children, off late with women (either married or girlfriends... in other words committed)

Lets jump to another prime reason, which will be explained soon. Think about a situation where you get school without the clause of giving exams to goto the next class. Does it beat the concept of schooling? You still goto the school to learn, you still “study” the same subjects. What changes is the formality of passing the exam. Does failing a subject in any way prove that the student is incapable of studying? It just shows that the student does not have the natural aptitude or the interest for the concerned subject and as we are not given the option of choosing our subjects, the compulsion of exams and the subsequent passing in them should not be necessary criteria of judgement. Relate this example to the concept of relationships. Is it not possible to have relationships without the tag of a commitment attached to it? Is it not possible to do away with formalities that will only end up in tying ourselves in unnecessary obligations? Does not being called a girlfriend in anyway reduce the quality of time spent with the concerned person? Does looking at other people of the opposite sex on the way home in anyway affect your affections for the committed someone waiting for you there? Does every person need to be subjected to the morally demeaning act of being flaunted as an art piece to whomsoever who has the time to listen as one’s committed other? I sure as hell wouldn’t. And for all the above reason we guys run away from the word commitment. You seek attention; we will give you all that we can. You ask for affection, we will unload our entire heart on a plate and gift it to you. You wish to be the only female we interact with... I say dream on... Cmon people, we are guys; we were made to be this way. We revel in voyeuristic pleasures. We like to gawk like wolves with our jaw hanging and tongue drooling at the sight of a gorgeous female (Its true.. don’t deny it ..) but then don’t you girls do the same? But if we point it out to you, we are being over possessive and unnecessarily jealous, while the females are just keeping us in check. Why are the rules so different and terminologies made to suit females? How is it a fair game in which we are supposed to follow each rule to the book? I say first make the rules fairer for both, then we will take a step forward.

Lastly we come to the most inconsequential but perhaps the most underrated reason on the male phobia for commitments. It is the fear of not living upto the hype. Women usually complain that men when trying to woo her were much more loving, much more enthusiastic etc than after being committed. It should be made clear here that for humans since the beginning, the chase has been more important than the kill. The chase sequence is always the most interesting part of a thriller. In a hunt, the chase part is always the most exciting part, the tiger/deer after it has been hunted down and clicked a photo with, is either left to rot, or taken home to serve as a wall adornment, subjected to a mere glance at the most at a later date. Similarly a female and now many males are sadly regarded as conquests. Making a girlfriend is more of a hunt session, complete with the chase sequence (wooing period) and when the poor creature is trapped, enmeshed in the unreal ropes of false hopes, the hunter goes for the kill and claims the prize as his own, after which the prize is left to its own, or just given formality glances and pleasing noises to keep it at bay. It is sad but true and both sexes are affected by it, so no one gender can be blamed for the phenomenon. Though it is practised by a very small number of the concerned gender it is noticed by a lot larger number. This leads to a lingering doubt at the back of one’s head which stops him/her from walking the last mile.

Life is not about commitments and relationships being given a name, it’s about actually living them. The realities are much different than we imagine and it is for that very reason that it’s best that a concept like live in relationships replace the quick divorce and multiple relationships era that our generation is known for. We can and we will overcome, but for it to happen the society as we know it today will have to undergo many fundamental changes. Major upheavals which may shake the foundation of many a concept that we are used to taking for granted. The world will yet see a time when one will have to open the pages of this blog from a cached version of this site on a google server to read about the concept of commitment phobia as it existed in 2008.It will take time and sacrifices but it will happen, it has to happen.

Monday, September 01, 2008

The person that I almost was..

Have you ever woken up wishing that you were someone else ..?? someone well... different..!! Have you ever felt bored of how life was dragging along .. how you were doing the same things that you didn't wanna do .. again ... and again ... How every breath you took, every move you made was one step away from the life you secretly wished for. You have everything .. and still nothing. Have you ever felt that way ..??

Have you ever felt that there was someone somewhere that understood you .. someone who wasn't your soulmate .. someone not destined to meet you .. but someone you would have to find.. you were alone in a crowd .. (cliche eh .. ) that your existence needed to be defined through that someone else you were seeking. That ....in the most unromantical way .. a part of you was still missing..

That life was beyond love .. beyond the vagaries each moment presented you with .. beyond all the decisions that were thrown at you .. beyond the choices that you stumbled across .. That darkness was at the end of the tunnel and the light way back.. and all you had was a torch with the battery running out.

I have felt some of the above ... and the rest Ive felt through the others Ive known .. but I know its there.. the feeling lurks in the shadows and f****s you when you least expect it .. brings you crashing down like a ton of bricks .. and you never know what hit you ... But its now how you fall .. gracefully or otherwise .. its how you get up to the stares of the unknown eyes.. whether its embarassment.. despair.. vengeance.. a smirk.. or plain mirth..

It is a random musing on my part .. but have you ever noticed that you have the same symptoms when you are in hate .. as when you are in love.. In hate..??? yeah the same hate you feel when you are really pissed off at someone and not the gf bf pissed off ... which everyone knows is plain bullshit !!!
you can't sleep at nights thinking what you would do to that person... you dnt feel hungry because the anger mechanism brings its share of indigestion.. and you can't stop thinking about that person ...!!!
Well so much for "lurrrve" symptoms ..!! seems the love gurus better scamper off back to their drawing boards and design a more fool proff mechanism to identify love..!!

For those who have read the batman comic series will realise how much of batman each person has in his/herself.. He is the only superhero without the superpowers... a man fallible.. a man victimized by the same age that plagues us all.. A hero .. a lover .. a human...
I stand in front of the mirror everyday and think how we live everyday to become the man everyone around us wants us to be.. the perfect father, the perfect son, the perfect brother, the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect enemy, the perfect lover, the perfect human and then they complain how we are losing our individuality.. what the f**k are we supposed to do ? Our life is one big self induced ,confused identity crisis .. and you know what we all are responsible for it.. atleast batman knew what he wanted to become and had the guts to tell everyone else to just f**k off.. He played every role to perfection while remaining true to his own identity.. and that's why he is batman .. and we are us .. we remain stuck in the rat race trying to outdo each other to the finish line not knowing that regardless the result we would be spending our entire lives running one race after the other on the same track until age catches up and we give up..

I wish to break these imaginary shackles that keep us bound to this never ending race track.. I wish to shout at the top of my voice when I want to .. I wish to be a jerk and love myself for it ... I wish to slip, fall and get up laughing .. I wish to stop caring about all those insignificant things which won't do me one bit good in the long run... I wish to wish for something worthwhile .. I wish to stop running .. I am tired.. I wish to stop and think .. think about where I am really heading .. about where I should be heading.. A directionless life is all I have .. though I might seem confident and full of gyaan .. I am helpless.. I have no inkling who I want to be, where I wanna go ... or for that matter who I am.. An engineer? a manager?? a great friend?? a pathetic lover?? an obedient child?? or a protective brother ..?? I feel definitions such as these are irrelevant for it needs the existence of these roles to be relevant and none of them represent me as I am..

From where I am standing .. I see the mirror showing me that I still have a long way to go .. still a long way to the person I almost am .. the person I almost was..!!

Monday, July 07, 2008

Heartbreak

Once upon a time, not so long ago,
There was a girl, a queen if you may.
Fair in skin, a spark in her eyes,
smart in her walk, yet dumb in her talk,
Boys but a game, shopping her domain.
Phone her favorite toy, be it with girl or guy.
Her antics funny, her personality sunny,
the tinkle in her voice, her cheerful demeanour,
encourages one to go hug her now.
The empty feeling, deep within,
the hearty aches and sudden mood swings,
Is this Love...?, I ask you mae.
She hears it all, she listens well,
then laughs a smile, oh shatter, oh pour.
She talks of love, as a child might do,
no pasts, no future, only presents do.
Oh come to me, she tells him too,
and the other and other, she tells them all.
The lover boy, he talks the walk,
promises palaces on clouds thus formed.
With a wave of her hand, a queeny dismissal.
She choses another, one of his own,
he cries foul, she laughs again.
A joke then, a joke forever,
a broken heart, a jilted mind.
Alone he goes, the horizon far,
A vow taken, for a return naught.
Anger in his mind, tears in his heart
A heart wrenched open, an eye dried wide.
left to the hounds to feats upon.
Forsaken by friends, hunted by foes,
As misery be, the fate of an escapee.
Alone he birthed, alone he shall die,
a freedom of naught, a love well earned.


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

When is the last time you did something for the first time..

Some of you might have heard this for the first time .. some of you might have been hearing it all their life, but one thing is for sure, you would be reading this post for the first time... for sure!!

When is the last time you did something for the first time .. seriously, I am asking you. Think about it. Our schedule, as free or hectic it might be, has become more of a "rut"ine . We lazy bums go on and on doing the same things hoping for destiny to give us that push needed to make us do something new, embark on a new "rut" if you may. Why we do that is beyond me, but that's exactly what we will try and unravel as we go along. Too philosophical for your taste ... have you reached the end ..? no .. read the entire thing then decide!!

How often is it that we crib about things being boring, our life having come to a standstill or maybe about nothing "new" happening. How many times have we really gone out of the way to make something "new" happen. How many times have we really tried doing things differently just to get atleast a feel of some sort of a change? Lets take an example.

Its a saturday night. Supposing theres no clubbing or outing with friends planned, you decide to go out with your family. Where do you go ..? to the same restaurant you have been visiting since you were born. what do you order? the same dishes you have been ordering since you got the sense to differentiate between dishes. The same vegetables, the same indian breads you always order. Why so? even in mix vegetables there is an option of it being jaipuri or kadhai etc. Theres always the red, the brown and the white gravy to chose from. India is a land of diversity surely there are many other varieties of dishes to chose from. Ok ok you say you had chinese last to last week, the week before you had south Indian and this week North Indian. Now answer me. When you ordered, did you try anything new in the menu or did you order the same cheese pasta, hakka noodles and vegetable clear soup that you always order.

Now, now don't be angry at me, its the problem with all of us. We are simply too lazy or too scared to try anything that's out of the ordinary. Lets take another example. If there were to be a poster that there is going to be ballet classes in your neighborhood, I am willing to bet many of us would have gone to see what and how the classes were. Inquired, stayed there for maybe 15 mins to half and hour and then left never to return again. Why is that? we are unwilling to try out something new not for the fear of wasting our precious time .. no we already waste a huge quantity of it daily without remorse, we do it for the fear of what the society will think of us if they find us doing it. I am willing to bet that if all your friends were convinced on joining it, you would have no qualms for the same. But the fear of your friends taunting you, or your parents/relatives commenting on how you are wasting your time learning a girlish dance (for guys only) or for the girls.. how you should be either learning household chores or building your career or if you want a hobby, to go for an "indian" dance form or songs.

Why is that every step we take have to dictated by what the inconsequential "others" have to say. We all would agree that majority of the time the comments others make are based on wrong facts and/or are of no substance. Still we trust others to dictate what should be done by us.

This is what leads to the fear of venturing into the unknown, alone. the fear of being noticed. Its ironic that everyone of us does hold a secret desire to be separated from the crowd. Of being famous, of being noticed. Everyone craves for attention.. some revel in it, but most of us when thrown into the limelight, shirk away from it.

Ever since Ive heard this line, Ive tried doing something new. Not that I always succeed, I'm but a human. I falter time and again and am pulled back into the racetrack again. Back to running the same laps again and again. But time and again I muster up enough strength to fight against my mind, to convince it to do something new, small, but new. I might take a new route to office, or try a new restaurant, sometimes I go and try out the weirdest sounding dish in a totally new restaurant. I have tried my hand at going into chat rooms, talking to totally random people and then leaving, just like that. I have tried changing my hairstyle and just about every small thing you can think about. Those experiments have made me a laughing stock at times, given me sleepless stomach ache filled nights and has helped me end up paying almost double the fare and ending up with lighter pockets. But you know what, they were all worth it. I got an experience which I can share with someone, a new dish which I can tell you "not" to try. A route "not" to take and a hairstyle to suggest for your enemy. On a serious note, they helped me really live my life, if only for those few minutes, by my life I mean a life thats spontaneous as it was intended to be, a life not influenced by anyone and where I am totally in control. We cannot control destiny but the path to that final outcome is always our choice. The road less travelled is always the more beautiful one, tougher, but beautiful.

For all the perfect people out there, a suggestion, try to goof up sometimes and try laughing at yourself. You will feel more human firstly .. and secondly you will end up doing something which your every instinct wants to do but your mind, influenced by the "others", has been forbidding you to do. Trying doing the above or some of the things I had tried doing, maybe you will realise a greater truth, maybe learn a new lesson, maybe have a forgetful experience or maybe one to remember or maybe none of the above. But one thing you will surely take from it is a memory you will want to share.

Try it.. and if possible share your experiences or maybe your views on how this is the most stupidest thing you've heard .. or how this has really worked.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

What if..??

The question which has no answer is one that starts with a "what if ..". Why you ask ..? well simply because there is no end to the subsequent what if's that can be thrown at you once you start answering. Don't believe me ..? well can't blame ya .. the first time I realised this fact, I was certain this model or theory as I like to call it.. could not be sustained... but it has...

Let's try a fictional conversation..

Dad: ... and the prince and princess lived happily ever after..
Son: I didn't like the story.. tell me another...!!
Dad: Why didn't you like it ? I've grown up listening to this story...
Son: It feels wrong somehow, there are a lot many unanswered questions...
Dad: like..?
Son: The part where the prince kills the rakshasha seems wrong.. (observe) what if the rakshasha had special powers that made him invincible.
Dad: well.. for that he had to do tapasya and ask for a boon from the Gods and he had not.
Son: what if he had done tapasya and you didn't know about it..?
Dad: It is possible, but the prince would have known about it from his gupt suchaks and would have done a tapasya himself to ask for a boon for a power to kill rakshashas like him.
Son: what if he had done tapasya and the God's had told him that it would be unfair to the rakshasha who had come before him for the invincibility boon and that being a God he could not be unfair to anyone.
Dad: The prince could say that the God was being unfair to him and maybe went to a higher God to ask for the boon.
Son: what if the higher God was also on the rakshashas side because he had taken a boon from the higher God not to allow the prince to take such a boon.
Dad: He would have gone to the head God Indra and asked for justice
Son: what if the lower God convinced the Head God not to give the boon because then he would have to be unfair to the rakshasha and put the prince in jail
Dad: that is presposterous ...!! why would they do that . Lord Brahma would never allow that.
Son: what if they mixed sleeping potion in Lord Brahma's afternoon tea and while he would be sleeping put the prince in jail.
Dad: I give up.. what do you finally want ..??
Son: I think the story should have a different ending. what if the prince was locked up in the heaven jail. The God's order the princess to either goto jail or become a daasi. The rakshasha , who was secretly in love with the princess, on hearing her plight becomes enraged and attacks heaven. He kills all the evil God's, rescues the prince and the princess and brings them to earth.
Dad: and the prince and princess lives happily ever after ..??
Son: No .. I was thinking .. what if.. the princess owes rakshasha one and finds that in the events that had happened, the rakshasha was her knight in shining armour, the one she was waiting for, and she leaves the prince and goes with the rakshasha..
Dad: so the rakshasha and the princess live happily ever after ..??
Son: No .. what if the prince now says that the princess was originally his and she should marry him and challenges the rakshasha to a fight till death with the winner taking the princess. The princess and the rakshasha agrees .. Their fight goes on for 40 days and 40 nights in storms, winter cold, the summer heat and the torrential rain and finally the prince manages to kill the rakshasha...
Dad: so now finally the prince and princess live happily ever after ..?? ( the frustration beyon dhis control, his hair standing up and his eyes narrowed on the son)
Son: Yes ... but what if ...


( Dad jumps out of the window ...)

p.s. "what if's.." are not good for health (of others) , if you have to consume them due to unavoidable circumstances (like these) please consume in mild doses or if possible take a minimum break of 4 hrs between two doses. Too high a dose can be fatal. Keep away from children, hazardous for adults in the hands of children below 8 years. Class H(I/J.. whatever) drug. Manufactured by: Hell Pharmaceuticals. side effects low doses: baldness (from pulling out hair), wrinkles (on your forehead due to immense tension and frustration), choking ( on your food.. do not consume it while having food) side effects high doses : only end result ...


I started of with an intention to write something else and wrote something else and now that Ive written something else, I am not going to write again or delete this something else for something else. So please forgive me for writing this something else instead of something else that I was trying to write initially.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

How to be the perfect partner..

I found these videos while stumbling on the net.. I think some you might find it interesting and even worth a few laughs


How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend


How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend


What are you greedy for ..?


My result LOVE

Seemingly I can't get enough when it comes to Love..

This is what they had to say about me ..

You've got butterflies in your stomach, you can't stop smiling, and you could swear that you're the luckiest person in the world. Sound familiar? It could only be one thing — love! And no matter how much you've got, it probably feels like you will never get enough, right? From smoldering crushes to even cuddlier dates, you're the kind of person who loves to want and feel wanted.

Money can't buy love, but that doesn't stop you from working to get it. Caring and affectionate, you know there's no such thing as too much. And while you might be a little sappy or sentimental now and again, there's no way anyone's going to fault you for having your heart in the right place. After all, you know what they say — the best way to get love is to give it. So go out there and get what you want!


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Which Book are you ..?

The creators of this quiz say that there are 64 different outcomes. Go check it out and let me know your results.


You're A Prayer for Owen Meany!
by John Irving

Despite humble and perhaps literally small beginnings, you inspire faith in almost everyone you know. You are an agent of higher powers, and you manifest this fact in mysterious and loud ways. A sense of destiny pervades your every waking moment, and you prepare with great detail for destiny fulfilled. When you speak, IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS!


Take the Book Quiz

Friday, March 07, 2008

In search of Nirvana..

A bit of philosophy anyone??

This is when you and I were say 10 years old.. there were always some questions in your mind which you thought about, which your mind couldn't simplify enough to get a satisfactory answer. You tried and tried to figure out the one logic which would set it all into place, but it simply didn't exist.You went upto your best friend and casually asked him the question, as if it were the most simple question in the world and you just happened to forget the answer but unfortunately he too was completely foxed by the simpleness of the question and you were disappointed in the dumb friends you had made, who couldn't answer such a simple question.But that is life and you always look for a better person to lead you to nirvana. So, hesitantly you go to your teacher and ask him/her the question, who incidentally you thought was the most intelligent being on the planet,but alas, you were devastated by the fact that he couldn't give an answer to a question which you initially thought was pretty dumb to ask him. Still, in search of a guru to lead you on in life, you go upto your dad, he is innocently sipping away at his tea with a newspaper or a remote in his hand, in short he is completely unaware of the question you had in mind for him, you wanted the surprise to be total, you knew he sidestepped most of your questions with the skill of a pro and like a veteran always managed to leave you speechless and escape, until you realised that you had been fooled. You had always respected him for that though, but today was important, he had to answer. So, when he was the least aware, you sprung the question... The startled expression on his face, the look of a deer trapped,was priceless, but you knew he was very calm and composed on the inside and quick on his feet; you were prepared. But before you had a chance to block all the exits, he managed to escape from under you, while you there speechless again.There was only one more person you could goto.Mind you, it was no easy task having the great person answer your questions. The only questions answered were the questions that were considered fit to be answered. The enlightened one had powers beyond comprehension, guardian of many life's most intimate secrets and the solver of the many "unforgivables" that you might have faced. She was .."Mother". So you muster up all your courage and approach her, she is working, you stand your ground waiting for her to finish. She asks you whats bothering you, you shake your head and wait for her to finish. After she's done with the stressful work only she can manage, you go upto her, put your head on her lap and ask her if she would answer the one question that has been haunting you, which noone around you has been able to answer. Your part done, you wait with baited breath, how she would respond. Your eyes judging her every expression for a hint what she was thinking. Atlast she declared, that she would answer it. Your joy knew no bounds and you got up in an upright position, to face her as someone worthy. You clear your throat, as if you are going to start a speech, but right then you choke. You think what if the question is deemed unfit and you are not allowed to ask another question ever...!! But this question is as important as ever, you console yourself, a risk is required for every great deed, your mind is placated, your heart is not and it beats furiously within. You finally ask the question ...


"why do we have a pair of everything, two eyes, two lips, two hands, two legs, two ears, but only 1 nose...?"


Life is not as complicated as we make it to be, some of the lifes most complicated questions are the ones asked simply. The innocent mind unaware of the complexities conjures up images and questions which our multi dimensionally enabled "adult" mind is unable to comprehend or answer. Somehow I feel that the age old saying "Ignorance is bliss" holds true even in the highly competitive I-know-more-than-you world of today, the age of ignorance is the age of innocence and one where we experience true bliss and enlightenment in the true sense of the word. Like sometimes saying nothing at all is equivalent to saying the whole world, similarly knowing nothing is sometimes equal to knowing everything.

What is philosophy I ask of you?? Its just a few arrongant good for nothings getting together and saying that their pfaff is beyond your intelligence. If you just look beyond the words, pfaff is all you will get.

Live easy.. live truly...!!
Enjoy

Saturday, March 01, 2008

"The Ladies Privilege"

According to a western legend, Leap years, "common" as they might be, have certain traditions and legends associated with them. This is because leap years are seen as unusual events that disturb the otherwise orderly progression of days/months/years, and thus certain beliefs have been attached to them. (One constant in the realm of folklore and superstition is that out-of-the-ordinary events are deemed to have out-of-the-ordinary consequences or properties.) Leap years, according to folk tradition, were the only times when women could propose marriage to men, with this Leap year belief often termed "The Ladies' Privilege". Yet even within this hypothesis there was disagreement as to how far it went — a great many of those who encountered this custom did not see it as applicable throughout the length of a leap year, but only to the extra day itself; that is, only to February 29.

The origins of "The Ladies' Privilege" are not definitively known, but one posited beginning set in Ireland had St. Bridget complaining to St. Patrick about women not being able to ask the men they fancied to marry them. According to the folktale, he offered the opportunity at a seven-year interval, and she bargained him down to four. (If this tale is true, it's no wonder St. Patrick took to putting the run on snakes, because he sure wasn't doing well against women.)

Though everyone loves a good folktale, the beginning of this custom more likely has to do with February 29 being perceived as a day that does not properly belong on the calendar and thus as a period when the ordinary rules of conduct do not apply.

In earlier days of Western society, relations between the sexes were far more formal and scripted, with each gender being expected to adhere to its assigned roles. When it came to proposing marriage, men did the asking and women did the accepting or declining — the other way around would have been unthinkable. Thus a leap year reversal of this ordinary state of things would be seen as "normal" so to speak.

Unlike in earlier times, there is now no societal prohibition against women being the ones to ask on bended knee. Custom, however, still continues to favor men doing the proposing, but its happening the other way around is no longer seen as shocking or as a challenge to the right
way of things. Its just remains to be seen how we evolve as a society and whether we Men will be able to retain the right to propose to girls or be relegated to proposing on just the 29th February. Life usually comes a full circle and evolves in cycles .. I hope in this particular situation it proves to be an exception..

There are somethings money can't buy .. for everything else..


Friday, February 29, 2008


And you say marriages are made in Heaven...!


pic courtesy Gunjan Choudhary

Sunday, February 24, 2008

TAGGED

This would rate as the first tag that I have been coaxed into accepting ..( sorry to the others who have unsuccessfully attempted to do so in the past).It helps I have my personal reasons too, If i may add as an afternote..

Among the MULTIPLE thoughts that are zooming through my mind hoping to access the control cluster that would command me to put them into words and then instruct the dendrons in my nerve endings to relay the information to my fingers who would subsequently type them out to onto the laptop and appear finally on the blog. First let me describe to you the tag.

"write 10 things u hate about the opposite sex"

In other words.. "10 things I hate about Girls"

I would probably be crucified.. With special note to the circumstances surrounding me lately, I think this could be the worst topic I could have been tagged to write about.But still I will try to do as much justice as I can, to this topic.

So ... Here goes nothing..
Ok first I'll try listing them in points format then maybe try explaining them.

1. Make-up
2. Driving
3. Passion for cleanliness and order
4. Constant demand for attention
5. Commitment to "Committment"
6. Not understanding that guys need their own space
7. "Girlishness" and all "girly things"
8. Blah blah .. shut up will ya ..!!
9. Their ability to get away with everything .. alright alright I lose; just please don't start weeping again
10. Free entry at the best disc in town


I'll first start with a brief Introduction of the target group and what I feel about them.

Girls born in the Femina era.. ones who like to go out and do something for themselves. Ones who preach about feminism and the wrong that the patriarchal society of the world has done against them and how they wish to rebel against the seemingly idiotical ideology that has been propagated since time eternity about an attempt by the male species to suppress women to the point of their becoming cowed housewives.
Hmm... Interesting theory ...I have just one word for you ...Bullshit .. !!!!
The very women fighting for equality are busy petitioning for reservations. They call it woman "empowerment", I call it a feeble attempt at salvaging lost pride. They know that despite their trying their level best to compete on fair grounds they have been unable to match the pace of their male counterparts (The some who have risen to great hieghts.. my unwavering respect to them, they spoke more with their actions than some others amongst them and I applaud them for that).

And as you may all know by now that the above was pfaff ...!!

Now for the detailed description of the 10 points listed above.

1. Every human is special and should learn to respect himself and others for what they are.. or so I was taught in my morals science classes in school. But everytime I see a girl walking down the road.. seldom without makeup I do feel my learnings in school have been naught. Why can't girls accept that they are who they are. Why do they have to go about prancing in the confines of the makeup cocoons hoping a prince charming mistakes her fer someone else and comes galloping on a porsche to save her. Why can't she just be natural and wait for whoever her real prince charming is going to be. Maybe he might not come exactly galloping .. more trudging along on a maruti esteem but what the heck, he will definately make it up with his love.

2. If I get elected to be the next prime minister, the first thing I'll do is cancel all the driving licences of the girls of today. There was a time when motorbikes use to whiz past you on the road and the first words were "you rowdy boys"... times have changed, seemingly the next time you have a near accident experience while driving or walking on the road, chances are that you'll spell out the slang connotation of a female dog. Frankly speaking I have nothing against them personally, on second thoughts I do. With half a dozen near accident experiences and 2 dents later I thought I was being singled out , seemingly most guys I talked with thought so too. Seems its a pretty common phenomenon.

3.Have you ever heard the phrase "boys will be boys" .. chances are you have, and if you are a guy chances are you will have been reprimanded for being a boy by a girl you know. I can understand a degree of cleanliness. But you seriously overdo it. Label the jars, the dirty clothes in one corner the not so dirty in another. The shelf has a section for books, a section are magazines and another for newsletters. The front half of the drawer can have the toiletries while the back half can have the used cloth and toothpicks and the likes. Excuse me, get a life..! We are guys.. we love diorder and chaos in our life and is best reflected in how we keep our rooms. we have a better chance of locaitng things in our mess than your ordered and disciplined beautification. It would be highly appreciated if the next time you meet or visit our rooms, you do not comment of the state of disarray and how feng shui's book says that a messy drawer leads to disruption of energy flow and hence a stagnation in our thought process.

4.How do I look tonight? Am I getting a little fat? Does this outfit do my hips justice? Is this shoe colour matching with my hairpin . For God's sakes, you know our answers are only going to cause heartbreaks and even if they by a miraculous act of God don't, then also our words are not going to shake your beliefs on the same. So why waste your time and our energy on something thats futile. But aah.. it is not futile is it. You did succeed in drawing our attention to yourself be it even for the most brifest of moments. And if the outfit succeeds in keeping our eyes on you for a moment longer, then you know you've won the first round. But We ask you, why the drive for attention. Heck you already have our "undivided" attention. We can't dare to look at another girl without you giving us a sharp look or a nasty bit of sarcasm which noone would have thought you capable of. Please please understand...you do not really have to try so hard to catch our attention. Just holler..!!

5.The sentence every guy in a "relationship" dreads is "where is this relationship going?" and the obvious answer which the girl expects is every guys worst nightmare "commitment". Commitment is the single most dreaded word for a guy in the entire english language, you know why? It take away his freedom to be "one of the guys" and that is the single most important setback which he dreads. You move on from being one of the guys to being a "honey" , a "coochiecoo" or maybe perhaps even "cheekoo or papita" . Darling to a certain extent has romantic connotations to it and so may be accepted, but obviously only in privacy. But we are deviating. If you are so intelligent, we do you not understand that there is no way a guy can smoothly venture onto the rough seas of commitment. The news has to be broken slowly and gently and perhaps given time to sink in and adminstered with a high dose of whatever pleases him.

6.I don't think I need to quite elaborate on it at all... EOM

7.There is a boyishness, there is a girlishness and there is manliness. All guys want to be manly, some girls like a bit of boyishness in guys. But take the words I am saying as gospel .. "Guys are not interested in anything thats remotely girly..!!" Girl talk is significantly different from how guys talk and have discussions. Girls have "different needs" to discuss than guys and it is not even the least interesting to hear why champa broke up with raja or why you think parineeta is a b***h because she happened to buy the same outfit as you and wore it before you did. I say it for the last time, If you do not understand politics or the basics of soccer, fine its not such a big deal, but please don't try to make up for lost conversations by talking about stuff like that. We appreciate your "emotions" and "feelings" and hey..." its not as if we don't have any" Its just that we chose a different style and channel to communicate and the baseline is girly talk can make even the most rugged of men squirm in his seat.

8. Why do girls have to chatter so much. I mean gossiping is ok, but how much. I mean how can you make up so much about such few people and still talk for such a long time ? Yapp yapp yapp...! If only there was a remote .. It would be lapped up by guys all over the planet. The most successful invention ever!! We are not discounting the time when you do have something worthwhile to say. Yeah you do .. but thats so rare that we think it best not to even count it in our calculations. We do appreciate your venting out feelings (and we do know you have huge repositories of them) but thats only sometimes. the rest of the time, it is quite easy to call your bluff, but we generally play along because we do not wish to hurt your feelings. Now that its in the open.. will you please keep our feelings in mind too ..??

9. In the filmfare awards, I think the most worthless of all awards in the best actress award. Did I say worthless, sorry I should say useless. This is because there is no such thing as a "best" actress. Given a stage and a role to enact any girl can give each other a run for their money. Its as if they are endowed with the instinctive sense of acting right from birth and with us guys it seems that their skills exponentially increase. In case of any sign of a trouble brewing, the instinctive reaction is to let out a few emotionally tintillating phrases which we call "sentis", if they don't seem to work (if the guy is a veteran) then they let loose a barrage of tears. Its as if a dam was opened, after a long time and a good monsoon. buckets after buckets keep emptying until we say the magic lines, "I am sorry" .. exactly .. " you know rahul, you had really hurt me, how could you even think of accusing me of this, you know naa how much I love you and want the best for you, and still you make me cry..." flashback.. she had thrown away the marlyn monroe poster I had got for my 16th birthday, and had instead put a jigsaw puzzle type collage of us together on the wall .. theres more ... that was for sorry .. if the response would have been "what can I do to make it up to you.." bingo..!! tears dry up, face lights up and boom comes the answer.. " you know Its not the gift but your heartfelt apology that has convinced me .. (yeah right.. out with it fast ..) but ..(theres always the but) I really want the ___ , ravinder got it for parminder and she keeps showing it to everyone, don't you love me enought to get me one.. blah blah blah .. ok ok ..happy now ..??

10.Last but not the least. In this era of the widening gap between the haves and the have nots.. those who "have" the entry (with a lady partner by his side and plenty of cash in his pockets) to the best disc in town .. and people like me, almost all the time cash strapped and just managing to save up for a special date and then seeing it all disappear in the hands of the big burly guy at the disc entry, the "have nots". It is very irritating to see unescorted single girls passing a smile to the burly ugly gatekeeper who checks with the guest list and miraculously always finds their names on the list and lets them pass, while we are left on the outside contemplating how to magically double up our allownaces to make it enough for us to make that one visit from time to time ..

And btw .. to a certain someone in answer to a certain something written in their post... All guys do not "check out girls from top to bottom" in the coffee shop they happen to be in . They arn't that vella, they do have other things to do .. !!


Btw .. to all the girls who were disappointed .. maybe they expected worse .. sorry had to tone down a bit .. !!

To all the girls who felt I was biased and mean and rude .. well as I said above .. I could have been worse..!!!

Neways .. Lifes not a one way highway .. there's always a stream of cars coming from the other side. If you didn't get the metaphor it means that there is a good side to girls too..!! (shocking but true ..)

Girls can be very endearing and caring WHEN they wish to be .. (when being a very important word in this sentence)
They do provide a different and unique viewpoint to many discussions, a ladies point of view is highly regarded in some domains.
They do have an extraordinary intutive power to them, its as if they can sense danger.. again .. frightening .. but true..!
They are highly creative.
Last but not the least, I do believe that they do complete us guys in a way. They can not be more different than us in their ways yet somehow our existence without them would have no relevance .. (I know I know .. can't help it ..!! The poet in me rises once in a while and shows his ugly hood in the form of the ruiningly intense positivity and romanticism )

Just a reminder.. I had been tagged by Veens .. !! so you know who made me write such a post .. just in case you plan on giving a supari or something ..!!

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