ReDmpTiON spEaKs ...

TAGGED

This would rate as the first tag that I have been coaxed into accepting ..( sorry to the others who have unsuccessfully attempted to do so in the past).It helps I have my personal reasons too, If i may add as an afternote..

Among the MULTIPLE thoughts that are zooming through my mind hoping to access the control cluster that would command me to put them into words and then instruct the dendrons in my nerve endings to relay the information to my fingers who would subsequently type them out to onto the laptop and appear finally on the blog. First let me describe to you the tag.

"write 10 things u hate about the opposite sex"

In other words.. "10 things I hate about Girls"

I would probably be crucified.. With special note to the circumstances surrounding me lately, I think this could be the worst topic I could have been tagged to write about.But still I will try to do as much justice as I can, to this topic.

So ... Here goes nothing..
Ok first I'll try listing them in points format then maybe try explaining them.

1. Make-up
2. Driving
3. Passion for cleanliness and order
4. Constant demand for attention
5. Commitment to "Committment"
6. Not understanding that guys need their own space
7. "Girlishness" and all "girly things"
8. Blah blah .. shut up will ya ..!!
9. Their ability to get away with everything .. alright alright I lose; just please don't start weeping again
10. Free entry at the best disc in town


I'll first start with a brief Introduction of the target group and what I feel about them.

Girls born in the Femina era.. ones who like to go out and do something for themselves. Ones who preach about feminism and the wrong that the patriarchal society of the world has done against them and how they wish to rebel against the seemingly idiotical ideology that has been propagated since time eternity about an attempt by the male species to suppress women to the point of their becoming cowed housewives.
Hmm... Interesting theory ...I have just one word for you ...Bullshit .. !!!!
The very women fighting for equality are busy petitioning for reservations. They call it woman "empowerment", I call it a feeble attempt at salvaging lost pride. They know that despite their trying their level best to compete on fair grounds they have been unable to match the pace of their male counterparts (The some who have risen to great hieghts.. my unwavering respect to them, they spoke more with their actions than some others amongst them and I applaud them for that).

And as you may all know by now that the above was pfaff ...!!

Now for the detailed description of the 10 points listed above.

1. Every human is special and should learn to respect himself and others for what they are.. or so I was taught in my morals science classes in school. But everytime I see a girl walking down the road.. seldom without makeup I do feel my learnings in school have been naught. Why can't girls accept that they are who they are. Why do they have to go about prancing in the confines of the makeup cocoons hoping a prince charming mistakes her fer someone else and comes galloping on a porsche to save her. Why can't she just be natural and wait for whoever her real prince charming is going to be. Maybe he might not come exactly galloping .. more trudging along on a maruti esteem but what the heck, he will definately make it up with his love.

2. If I get elected to be the next prime minister, the first thing I'll do is cancel all the driving licences of the girls of today. There was a time when motorbikes use to whiz past you on the road and the first words were "you rowdy boys"... times have changed, seemingly the next time you have a near accident experience while driving or walking on the road, chances are that you'll spell out the slang connotation of a female dog. Frankly speaking I have nothing against them personally, on second thoughts I do. With half a dozen near accident experiences and 2 dents later I thought I was being singled out , seemingly most guys I talked with thought so too. Seems its a pretty common phenomenon.

3.Have you ever heard the phrase "boys will be boys" .. chances are you have, and if you are a guy chances are you will have been reprimanded for being a boy by a girl you know. I can understand a degree of cleanliness. But you seriously overdo it. Label the jars, the dirty clothes in one corner the not so dirty in another. The shelf has a section for books, a section are magazines and another for newsletters. The front half of the drawer can have the toiletries while the back half can have the used cloth and toothpicks and the likes. Excuse me, get a life..! We are guys.. we love diorder and chaos in our life and is best reflected in how we keep our rooms. we have a better chance of locaitng things in our mess than your ordered and disciplined beautification. It would be highly appreciated if the next time you meet or visit our rooms, you do not comment of the state of disarray and how feng shui's book says that a messy drawer leads to disruption of energy flow and hence a stagnation in our thought process.

4.How do I look tonight? Am I getting a little fat? Does this outfit do my hips justice? Is this shoe colour matching with my hairpin . For God's sakes, you know our answers are only going to cause heartbreaks and even if they by a miraculous act of God don't, then also our words are not going to shake your beliefs on the same. So why waste your time and our energy on something thats futile. But aah.. it is not futile is it. You did succeed in drawing our attention to yourself be it even for the most brifest of moments. And if the outfit succeeds in keeping our eyes on you for a moment longer, then you know you've won the first round. But We ask you, why the drive for attention. Heck you already have our "undivided" attention. We can't dare to look at another girl without you giving us a sharp look or a nasty bit of sarcasm which noone would have thought you capable of. Please please understand...you do not really have to try so hard to catch our attention. Just holler..!!

5.The sentence every guy in a "relationship" dreads is "where is this relationship going?" and the obvious answer which the girl expects is every guys worst nightmare "commitment". Commitment is the single most dreaded word for a guy in the entire english language, you know why? It take away his freedom to be "one of the guys" and that is the single most important setback which he dreads. You move on from being one of the guys to being a "honey" , a "coochiecoo" or maybe perhaps even "cheekoo or papita" . Darling to a certain extent has romantic connotations to it and so may be accepted, but obviously only in privacy. But we are deviating. If you are so intelligent, we do you not understand that there is no way a guy can smoothly venture onto the rough seas of commitment. The news has to be broken slowly and gently and perhaps given time to sink in and adminstered with a high dose of whatever pleases him.

6.I don't think I need to quite elaborate on it at all... EOM

7.There is a boyishness, there is a girlishness and there is manliness. All guys want to be manly, some girls like a bit of boyishness in guys. But take the words I am saying as gospel .. "Guys are not interested in anything thats remotely girly..!!" Girl talk is significantly different from how guys talk and have discussions. Girls have "different needs" to discuss than guys and it is not even the least interesting to hear why champa broke up with raja or why you think parineeta is a b***h because she happened to buy the same outfit as you and wore it before you did. I say it for the last time, If you do not understand politics or the basics of soccer, fine its not such a big deal, but please don't try to make up for lost conversations by talking about stuff like that. We appreciate your "emotions" and "feelings" and hey..." its not as if we don't have any" Its just that we chose a different style and channel to communicate and the baseline is girly talk can make even the most rugged of men squirm in his seat.

8. Why do girls have to chatter so much. I mean gossiping is ok, but how much. I mean how can you make up so much about such few people and still talk for such a long time ? Yapp yapp yapp...! If only there was a remote .. It would be lapped up by guys all over the planet. The most successful invention ever!! We are not discounting the time when you do have something worthwhile to say. Yeah you do .. but thats so rare that we think it best not to even count it in our calculations. We do appreciate your venting out feelings (and we do know you have huge repositories of them) but thats only sometimes. the rest of the time, it is quite easy to call your bluff, but we generally play along because we do not wish to hurt your feelings. Now that its in the open.. will you please keep our feelings in mind too ..??

9. In the filmfare awards, I think the most worthless of all awards in the best actress award. Did I say worthless, sorry I should say useless. This is because there is no such thing as a "best" actress. Given a stage and a role to enact any girl can give each other a run for their money. Its as if they are endowed with the instinctive sense of acting right from birth and with us guys it seems that their skills exponentially increase. In case of any sign of a trouble brewing, the instinctive reaction is to let out a few emotionally tintillating phrases which we call "sentis", if they don't seem to work (if the guy is a veteran) then they let loose a barrage of tears. Its as if a dam was opened, after a long time and a good monsoon. buckets after buckets keep emptying until we say the magic lines, "I am sorry" .. exactly .. " you know rahul, you had really hurt me, how could you even think of accusing me of this, you know naa how much I love you and want the best for you, and still you make me cry..." flashback.. she had thrown away the marlyn monroe poster I had got for my 16th birthday, and had instead put a jigsaw puzzle type collage of us together on the wall .. theres more ... that was for sorry .. if the response would have been "what can I do to make it up to you.." bingo..!! tears dry up, face lights up and boom comes the answer.. " you know Its not the gift but your heartfelt apology that has convinced me .. (yeah right.. out with it fast ..) but ..(theres always the but) I really want the ___ , ravinder got it for parminder and she keeps showing it to everyone, don't you love me enought to get me one.. blah blah blah .. ok ok ..happy now ..??

10.Last but not the least. In this era of the widening gap between the haves and the have nots.. those who "have" the entry (with a lady partner by his side and plenty of cash in his pockets) to the best disc in town .. and people like me, almost all the time cash strapped and just managing to save up for a special date and then seeing it all disappear in the hands of the big burly guy at the disc entry, the "have nots". It is very irritating to see unescorted single girls passing a smile to the burly ugly gatekeeper who checks with the guest list and miraculously always finds their names on the list and lets them pass, while we are left on the outside contemplating how to magically double up our allownaces to make it enough for us to make that one visit from time to time ..

And btw .. to a certain someone in answer to a certain something written in their post... All guys do not "check out girls from top to bottom" in the coffee shop they happen to be in . They arn't that vella, they do have other things to do .. !!


Btw .. to all the girls who were disappointed .. maybe they expected worse .. sorry had to tone down a bit .. !!

To all the girls who felt I was biased and mean and rude .. well as I said above .. I could have been worse..!!!

Neways .. Lifes not a one way highway .. there's always a stream of cars coming from the other side. If you didn't get the metaphor it means that there is a good side to girls too..!! (shocking but true ..)

Girls can be very endearing and caring WHEN they wish to be .. (when being a very important word in this sentence)
They do provide a different and unique viewpoint to many discussions, a ladies point of view is highly regarded in some domains.
They do have an extraordinary intutive power to them, its as if they can sense danger.. again .. frightening .. but true..!
They are highly creative.
Last but not the least, I do believe that they do complete us guys in a way. They can not be more different than us in their ways yet somehow our existence without them would have no relevance .. (I know I know .. can't help it ..!! The poet in me rises once in a while and shows his ugly hood in the form of the ruiningly intense positivity and romanticism )

Just a reminder.. I had been tagged by Veens .. !! so you know who made me write such a post .. just in case you plan on giving a supari or something ..!!